From BS To Redundancy Preview

(Note this is from 2nd grade and 5th So expect some swearing and loads of sad parts and so on Yes i lived a cruel but somewhat awesome life i am just leaking some of this and that this is gonna be put out into the world after if it comes to it after my death if not after i am somewhere around my early 40s)(My real name is Di'Vonte Weyaus and i was born and raised in Bemidji MN: Reason its 18+ is cause i feel it's was really emotional but if you want to read this and your under 18 be warned cause this is really depressing and i am relieving my past cause everyone needs to know, I am revieling it cause i don't want people to feel sorry. i am doing it so people can open their eyes a little )

This happened before my surgery i was on top of the world! I loved that feeling and i also loved being nice. I was raised to be kind and loving. This was before my surgery now and need i remind you i have had surgery before, a open heart surgery a rumor went around about me having something really contagious and deadly. i think i can't remember if it was deadly but i remember it was contagious. Now i really didn't have anything but a heart problem. A valve didn't work so i have a artificial valve along with a patch i believe cause of the three holes.

This began about a week before my Echo in Fargo Minnesota. I heard the rumor and boy it was bad. I remember screaming at my mom not to let me go back to school, but also it took her a long while to see it cause it was a while before it started to show. As the bullying continued i was being driven into depression. This was around 2008 I believe i can not remember, but it was my first actual attempt but it was failed cause it was only a thought Thank God! but it was a though of me killing myself. I then realized why should i care about it anymore cause someone was who was in my life i wanted her not to live the life i lived with all of the bullying and told her to just to be herself and if anyone tried not to let it get to her. Her name is Natalie(June) age 5 when i told her that and i was raised not to do anything. Also here is a addition thing. I never cut in my life. I never did and here is my reason and i had every moment i wanted to i could've but my reason is cause i didn't want her to see someone cut or even threatened to kill themselves.

After my surgery went great and after healing this was the worst part of my life. I walked into the school now this is after everything was healed and the doctor gave me the okay to go back to school. i heard kids ask me if I was a drug abuser, and just for that i simply said "What? What are you talking about?" and even a kid told me to stay clear of the teachers and cops and stuff, and also i heard that a rumor went around that i died and stuff. i just said to myself just to forget it. after a while everything was normal even my summer was normal and i got a note saying "I need to repeat the grade for missing so many days." I was hit with hard seeing that all my friends who didn't believe the rumors who stuck with me i'm glad they did, but after summer and i am back into school back in the same room and even the same teacher just different students. Some of which heard and believed the rumors so they decided to be a dick about it. "Get away from me i don't want to catch what you have!" and "Eww get away from me!" and even "Why are you sick you gonna live through this?" or something i don't know it was a while but i remember hearing or it could be me over thinking but it was really bad. I fell back down into this depression state I was in before my surgery and stuff. I even though of killing myself again but then i remembered my promise so i kept it again.

It was a while finally i just said "Leave me the fuck alone I am different or some crap" I can not remember what i said but it was horrible cause the bullying got worse! Finally i fell back in the hole and i didn't want to end my life or anything so i resorted to eating. Something really bad for my heart cause when i said i was gonna keep that promise I was slowly breaking that promise for binge eating. I was fit before the bullying i was skinny. I was partly healthy other then my heart problem. i was on top then suddenly i tripped and fell down that hill through growing fatter and that was worse cause it made the bullying even worse.

My mom finally heard and saw that something was deeply wrong so she called the school and threatened if they didn't help me that she would take me out of school and not let me go back in there cause it was pushing me into depression. It brought me to the edge but i fought my way back to the middle but slowly i was shoved back to that edge. Bullying is not to be fucked with and i tried to fight it and look at me now. I am 270 pounds going on a diet and slowly letting that off my back and those were lifted off my shoulders. Then i had little to no friends now i have so many friends i can hardly keep count. Even kids who were apart of it are not my friends. That school was a anti-bullying school but i called BS on that cause it was obviously happening under the teachers nose. We had a anti-bullying program called WAVE(Welcome And Value Everyone) but i was put in with some of my bullies. I was never beaten i was never threatened. I was put down by just words like Get Out and being called names. WAVE obviously worked cause i was being bullied in front of teachers and even worse I felt abandoned.

After a whole year of bullying and a relaxing summer and back to bullying so i begged her to not let be go back. She wouldn't listen she just told me to be strong. My cousins told me if they are gonna keep that up for me to knock them on their asses. I am not that kinda person. People to this day are surprised i haven't cut or even worse bottled my emotions to the point of breaking and turning into a killer or something. I was close to doing the stupid thing by remembering the promise i had said.

I remembering being out in the 3rd grade camp out(The name for the break out or what ever) and a few girls (Not gonna say names cause it was so long ago) told me "Eww go away" and quite a few of other insults something i grew a custom to.(I shouldn't have) Then a kid out of nowhere just blew and said "Who cares what he is who he is and what he did or what ever! He is him and you are you so shut the up and leave him alone!" He was known as Reagan my closest friends till we drifted apart after middle school like 7th grade)

We became friends and i met more people and made more friends and still heard rumors and name calls and i drifted in a place called
"I Don't Give A Fuck" and right there i stopped until i heard someone say i was retarded just cause i rode the little bus. (that is it for now if you want more email me it and i will write more of my life n you get to learn more either depressing or experiancing my first drunk fight(watching it) to lots of stuff.