14 (Fourteen)

If you are nearly fourteen,
a few things you should know:

It really truly can be the age of Hell.

That thing you feel
where you are sad,
                             and hurt
                                       and mad
                                                 and scared
and it seems like the sun has stopped
shining because the world suddenly feels
                                                 so cold,
                                       and alone
                             and dark
and maybe its not the sun that's broken
maybe you are broken and worthless because
you are the only thing that is changing
and when you change things that is when they break...

It is not broken,
it is dying.
your childness is dying
and all the days of running
         so excited..,
         how it used to feel flying
         he was so very big
         and you so little in those massive hands and arms
         that gave you wings on sunny days
         and laughter
         and smiles
         and love as big as the sky because that was the same answer every time you asked...

it's going away now. Forever.

And in its place,
because it's fading faster,
and you don't really want to lose those things you said were stupid,
because you know your friends would hate you
if you still wanted to just be hugged
and loved like that
because it's not so scary
because that is for babies
and you don't want to be a kid any more...
but maybe you do,
it's so hard to figure out right now
and
you just find
fear

or something...

Here is what you need to know,
(you can share this with your friends... they're dying too)

beyond this fear is where all New begins...

When your precious childhood's final breath is spent
and tears dry up
and how that was begins to fade.

                                                                                                             When the spinning stops
                                                                     and you have learned
to cast that wonderful, perfect,
                                       
                    tiny 

past behind you

Head towards the blinding light that lies ahead!
For just beyond its glare you'll get to find

all the Firsts
         (kisses
                   loves
                             times...)

and all the Trues
         (friends
                   loves
                             truths themselves...)

of life worth finding