Happy Birthday Mister Shadow

“It’s my birthday today, Shadow,”

“I know, it’s mine too”

“I’m sorry but I haven’t got a present for you.”

“You’ve made me taller, and wider with age and junk-food. What more could I ask?”

“Maybe we could have a birthday party together, just the two of us. We could dance to the music of the Shadows and the Human
League.”

“You could invite Thelma. I get on well with her cute and quite shapely shadow.”

“Do you love her?”

“Yes. I like her shadow’s soft palm in mine whenever you two walk along the beach. Why not give her a call?”

“I doubt she really loves me back. Our infrequent outings are probably just pity dates to her.”

“I would settle for a pity party.”

“She already thinks I’m weird enough without me inviting her to a birthday party so my love smitten shadow can romance hers.”

“You would not even have to mention me. Tell her you are feeling upset that no one remembered your birthday and ask if she would like to help you celebrate it. You’ve got nothing to lose by asking and everything to gain if she says yes.”

“Correction, you’re the one that gains by her acceptance.”

“Be that as it may, deep down I think she’s “just the girl that can’t say no””

“Except to an ugly loser like me,”

“Oh come on, give her a ring.”

“Well maybe… I could ask her to bring her sister Nina.”

“Over my dead shadow; I’m not having that walrus around.”

“Oh come on Shadow, you two could make beautiful music together. It’d be like when “Harry met Sally”.”

“More like the “Marriage of figure-grow”. I’d be wandering into the shadow, of the valley of death fearing a clear and present danger.”

“A brave heart never won a fair maiden.”

“Not a fair maiden, an Iron Maiden and I’d be “running for the hills.””

“Not without me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong my young Padawan. I have friends in high places that could make your life a living hell.”

“Like who?”

“My cousin Instan Cash, he’s a Shadow minister for finance. He’d see me free from you…and he’s also good friend of Reflectorcon.”

“Reflectorcon?”

“He controls mirror images. Every time you look in the mirror you’d see a much uglier projection of yourself.”

“So?”

“It will condition your mind into believing it is what you look like.”

“I’d take selfies and get others to take photos. Surely Reflectorcon can’t control camera lenses.”

“Your conditioned mind will reject these images and believe that it is a picture of someone else. It’s the image you see every morning
in the mirror it believes and…”

“Oh okay then. You win. I’ll just invite Thelma, but I can’t promise she’ll show up.”

“Thank you. No one has ever thrown me a party before.”

“There’s always a first time for everything Shadow…happy birthday my long-time companion.”

“Happy birthday my long time Humanoid.”