Wild

Ever since the Parkers went to the vet to have their dog put down, their youngest daughter, Richarda, could do nothing but bark. Disconcerted, the vet had sent them to the doctor. The doctor, bamboozled, had sent them to the zoo. Perplexed, the zoo had sent them to Paws Manson, the perpetrator of the most heinous animals crimes of the century. Paws was saddened by their plight, but could do nothing for them. Utterly bewildered, he sent them to the wild, where he had heard of a cure.

The Parkers, desperate, boarded a cargo ship, destination: the wild. They paid a luxurious amount to get a tiny cabin in the lowest level of the boiler room that, if the ship were to sink, it would certainly go down first. In order to get the cabin, they’d also had to sign a waiver, agreeing to forfeit their bodies if the food supply ran out. In honour of their being guests, the captain held huge feasts every night, to which they were not invited.

Miraculously, after three months at sea, during which Richarda had a case of fleas and rabies, the Parkers made to the wild. The wild was hot and sticky, and contained mosquitoes the size of your big toe. Luckily, it was also really small. They got to the right tree in no time. The tree, called Lester, knew exactly what was wrong, but he looked solemn.

“Unfortunately, when your dog was put down, his mind was switched with the mind of your daughter, so in fact, the veterinarian destroyed the wrong mind. There is no way for me to retrieve your daughter’s mind.” He pulled out a needle. “But if you wish, I can put down your dog for real this time.” Richarda’s dog mind looked at Lester sadly.