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Rated: E · Short Story · Comedy · #2076257
A fish tank as the family pet.

Ron Osso - 2/23/16, V3

Tanked!

When we moved from Royal Oak, Michigan to Charlotte, North Carolina, Lorraine suggested we get an aquarium.

"It's good Feng Shui," she told me.

I'd had a fish tank before, but stopped setting one up several years earlier, and sold all of the equipment. But I liked the idea, so twelve years ago, I bought a forty-gallon tank, the filter, gravel, plants, artificial rocks, a small cave, and a stand to put it all on. I set-up the aquarium, and over the next few months populated it with some fish; a few neon tetras, a couple of red sword tails, some orange mollies, black mollies, and an emerald green catfish.

One of the good things about tropical fish is you don't get too attached to them which is fine because they die on a regular basis. The tropical fish experience is more of a "tank as pet", unlike having a cat or a dog who you name, they come sit on your lap, and you pat their heads.

Over the past eleven years I've probably had seventy or eighty fish in my tank, usually seven to ten at a time. They come, stay for a while, they die, then move on to a cold water grave; the toilet. It's never a pleasant experience when you find one lying on the bottom of the tank, usually partially eaten by the other fish, but it's nowhere near as traumatic as when you wake up one morning to discover that the cat or dog you've loved for fifteen years, even though you've watched it decline for months, is lifeless, lying just outside your bedroom.

Once a fish tank settles in, and the water becomes properly conditioned and biologically balanced, the fish tend to live longer than they do in the early stages of an aquarium, sometimes even for a couple of years.

I bought an algae eater about eight years ago, and introduced him to the tank. I call it a "him" but I have no idea what sex it is. He was about an inch and a quarter long when I got him. He laid low, on the bottom of the tank, usually hiding behind plants. He would come out once in a while, his suction cup mouth stuck to the glass, often looking like an upside down drop of water, or teardrop earring. Occasionally he'd move to a new spot, hoping to find additional nourishment. None of the other fish bothered with him, and he never seemed to pay any attention to them.

About four years ago, after he'd survived longer than any fish I'd had since setting up the tank, he'd grown to more than twice his original size, and I decided to name him. Big Joe seemed an appropriate moniker for this largest fish in my aquarium. Now three years later, Big Joe is bigger than ever. He's about six inches long, and I've grown attached to him, although he seems indifferent towards me.

A few months ago, on a Saturday afternoon, I was walking towards the tank to feed the fish, and I noticed something on the carpeting in our living room. Upon closer inspection I saw that it was Big Joe. Apparently he'd accidentally jumped out of the tank. I figured he was gone, but picked him up and gently placed him back into the tank. His lifeless body slowly sank to the bottom until it hit the gravel. I was sure he was dead, but at that moment I couldn't face netting and disposing of him. I figured I'd wait a little while, just to be sure.

I don't remember what I actually did for the next twenty or thirty minutes, but I know I thought about Joe, and it made me sad. Eventually I went to the tank, with little hope for his survival, bent down and took a close look. His gills were moving slowly. He was alive, just barely, but enough so that I was encouraged.

Now, six months later, Big Joe seems for the most part, to be fine. I have however noticed one change in his behavior. He spends most of his time, when he's not hanging from the glass, sucking on the aquarium heater. Maybe his time on the living room carpeting gave him a chill?

Across the past eleven years I've learned a lot more about tropical fish than I'd known when I was younger. I've experimented with several different species. Presently I have two black tetras, three neon tetras, two opaline Gouramis, one gold Angel fish, and of course Big Joe. When I bought the two Gourami's and the Angel fish, the pet shop attendant asked me if I'd ever had Angels before.

"Oh yes, once I had a large tank with only black Angels in it." I replied.

"So then you know that they are usually fine until they get a little older, and bigger, then they become like teenagers, like bullies. They're aggressive, and chase after the other fish."

"Yeah I know, but I'm hoping the Gouramis will sort of balance things out."

I thought that, since they are usually pretty feisty too.

"Good luck. We have a two week guarantee on our fish. If any of them don't survive, bring back the corpse and we'll replace it free of charge."

"Yup, I know, thank you."

That was six months ago.

Over the past two or three months one of the Gourami's has become the self-appointed king of the tank. It all started out innocently enough. He, she, it would chase the other Gourami around the tank. It kind of looked like they were playing a game of fish tag. But then the aggressive one also started to chase the black tetras and even took a few shots at the Angel fish. Lately however, it's gotten more serious. At first the more aggressive Gourami began to force the less aggressive one to stay on one side of the tank. If the less aggressive one moved across the imaginary center, for any reason at all, even just to eat, the more aggressive one would chase it back. After a while I decided to name the more aggressive Gourami Osama.

Osama is now literally twice the size of the smaller, un-named Gourami, and he has tightened his control over the little guy, forcing him to stay in an even more confined area, at the base of one of the plants, under one specific leaf. Even when I feed them, if the little guy comes out in an attempt to eat, Osama chases him back to his four square inch piece of real estate. At first I felt like I had to do something about this bullying. I decided Osama needed a time out. So I netted him while I fed the other fish. I kept him in the water, but in a net so he couldn't attack the little guy, or any of the others. After the other fish had eaten, I set Osama free. Of course the first thing he did, even before he ate himself, was check and make sure the little guy was in his designated spot.

Last night I was home alone for a few hours. Lorraine is a teacher and had parent conferences. I was sitting on the couch reading when movement in the tank caused me to look up. Things seemed relatively tranquil, and I began to think I should just let nature run its course. I shouldn't interfere with what was going on inside my tank. I thought, snakes eat mice, owls swoop down and eat squirrels, and lions chase down and kill gazelles right?

Just as I was considering this, Big Joe glided over towards Osama and began to chase him around the tank. I had never witnessed big Joe harassing any of the other fish. Osama was swimming for his life, but Joe kept after him. It was comical since Joe is almost twice as long as Osama. I cheered Joe on.

"Go Big Guy, show him what it's like!"

Eventually Joe stopped chasing Osama, affixed himself to the glass, and started sucking, hoping to find some fresh algae. Osama, who looked a little winded and stunned, hovered, trying to catch his breath I imagined.

I found myself thinking this was the beginning of a new world order. I was hopeful that the always peaceful Big Joe had decided to throw a warning shot across Osama's bow.

This morning when I went to feed them, the little guy, eyes filled with hope, swam up from his little spot to get some dried shrimp flakes. As he got to the top of the tank, Osama swooped over to him, but this time he stopped short and started to eat, allowing the little guy to eat as well. Little guy, as I guess I've just named him, timidly took a few bites and retreated to his designated home at the base of the plant.

I see this change in behavior as a positive sign. I really hope that Little Guy now has a chance to grow and thrive. I also hope Osama has learned that bullying is a bad thing. I hope so for the sake of Little Guy, but also because Osama, though aggressive, is the most beautiful fish in the aquarium. Besides, isn't a peaceful existance what every being is looking for?



3


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