Motivated Forgetting

Roman had been difficult since the death of his wife. And, one couldn't blame him either; to have lost her at such a young age. What really drove him crazy and gnawed at his flesh was the fact that he was a detective, and yet, utterly incapable of protecting his own wife. In his mind a greater failure didn't exist. He had been on sabbatical for six months and a half now. Capitan Winston didn't want him there either. He was as useless as a knife without a blade considering the circumstances.

On a usual day, he would spend almost four or five hours sitting at Laura's grave talking to her, apologizing for his incompetence. Then, he would return home and let the hours go by while doing nothing useful. He would eat something, or maybe not, and then lay in bed until unconsciousness took him away. He would have been dead for sure if it weren't for Mr. and Mrs. Reiner, his next door neighbors. The middle-aged couple often looked after him.

At first, when Roman and Laura had just gotten married, this was the first apartment they rented and the Reiners were their first landlords. But, the two couple had been living in adjacent apartments for three years now and their care for Roman was rooted in the deep pity they felt for him. Mrs. Reiner was so touched upon receiving the news. She and Laura often talked. The age difference didn't seem to bother the young girl. To her, Laura was the relaxed-happy girl who would listen to her as if she was her own mother. And it meant a lot, because the Reiners couldn't have a baby. And so after her death, she would listen for any sign of trouble and take meals to Roman's apartment.

He sat on a sofa and started smoking a cigarette. He had stopped smoking after meeting Laura, but now he didn't see any point in it. Mrs. Reiner knocked a few times and after not receiving any answer just assumed that he was idly wasting time and entered with a tray in her hand. She wasn't wrong. She put the tray of food on the coffee table in front of Roman, and lingered for a moment. Something was different this time, but she couldn't put her finger on it. She left without saying anything. He ignored the whole thing like nothing had happened at all.

After six and a half months, now guilt and depression had given way to anger. Roman was an average detective, like all the rest. There was nothing special about him. I'd even say that he had lost more cases than winning them. He would always be in his humble office, at his simple desk. Tommy, his nae assistant, although young and handsome, wasn't really any good. Once Roman had worked up the courage to take his revenge on those who had brought this on him, he realized that Tommy had left, and was now working as a pizza delivery guy to pay for his acting classes. He always dreamed of becoming an actor, and one couldn't blame him either. The geography of chance seems to be very grotesque in that area.

He was all alone in this. He kept thinking about Frank and Liam. He didn't have a clear memory of what had happened, but he vaguely remembered the three of them being there when it happened. They must have been the culprits.

Frank silver was the criminal who had taken Laura hostage. For him, the verdict was not guilty on the account of murder, and as for the other crimes, he had been sentenced to six years in prison. But, now he was out on a short leave, so it was the right time. And as for Liam Gilmore, he was a fellow detective from the precinct. He enjoyed a successful career and cracked cases one after another. He must have had a hand in it, otherwise, why would he be on the crime scene when Roman had specifically warned him about it. He had been trying to take this case away from him every chance he got and Roman wasn't going to let that happen.

It was a nice winter night. The weather was cold as usual and he felt extra cold when the occasional snowflake hit his skin. Roman loved it. One was a successful detective and the other a prisoner on leave, so they both lived alone and on this very cold night Roman had decided to pay them a visit on his way to a familiar part of the town. This area was extra special for him because he had his last memories of Laura there. After the incident, he had been hospitalized for a week and her parents had decided to go ahead and bury her without him. He hated them for it and had decided to never talk to them again.

He opened the trunk of the car. Frank and Liam had been tied and gagged. Roman looked at them and smiled. "And they said I didn't learn much in the academy!", he thought. He pulled them out of the trunk and onto the ground. They both recognized the place. The three story building with a backyard. It had been empty ever since. He bent over and freed their feet with a knife, then pulled out his gun and pointed it at them. "In you go", he said. They did. They made deep footprints in the snow, maybe it was the weight of the fear they bore. The crazy in Roman's calmness was so much that they didn't dare making a run for it. He didn't have anything to lose.

Instead of the second floor where Laura had been killed, he took them to the backyard. There was a swimming pool back there which had attracted his attention ever since he had gone there last week to inspect the place for his plan. It seemed good enough for his purpose.

Right then, he had thought that it would be a good idea to use chairs for his act to ensure the comfort of his guests. At least, that's what Laura would have wanted. And also, this way he could see them struggling for their lives.

Once by the pool, he assisted them by simply kicking them into the wide-empty space which was colored blue. He jumped in after them. He had been quiet almost the whole time. In there, he had prepared everything he might need; a long rope, handcuffs, and even another gun just in case. After guiding them toward the chairs with his gun, he forced them to sit. The chairs were placed in the middle of the pool, back-to-back. After that, he tied them together with the rope in a way that made any movement impossible. And then, he took the handcuffs. But, no matter how much he thought he couldn't find a use for them, so he threw them back where they were before. Well, better safe than sorry.

He opened the gags.

- "It's over, Roman." Liam said. It was cold but drops of sweat could be seen on his face. He was afraid, but still traces of a surprise lingered in his face since a few hours ago. "The case is closed...Justice is served!"

- "It's not about justice" Roman replied. His face was turning red. "I only want revenge. I don't follow the jury."

Frank was quiet. He was also afraid, but maybe he thought it would be better to let Liam, a fellow detective, handle this.

- "You were so blinded by your success that you were prepared to do anything for it!" Roman continued while climbing out of the pool. "Well, this is your success! It's all yours!" He wanted to be done with it quickly. He turned on the engine. Water started to pour into the pool.


- "Come on!" Frank came to speak at the sight of the water. "I've been through court! You know I didn't do it!"

The water was rising fast.

- "Roman!" Liam shouted. "You know it wasn't us! You were there!"

Roman didn't listen. He didn't hear anything at all. He stood at the edge of the pool. Laura's face was the only image in his mind. As the water rose higher in the pool, her image became clearer and clearer in his mind. He stood out there but felt his hands pressing on their necks, chocking them out of their guilt. Liam and Frank extended their necks and held their heads high, struggling, pleading with their last breaths, and Roman was frozen up there. As if, his anger was being depleted, and with it, his energy. The water passed their heads and all he could see was the bubbles, the last signs of their existence, surfacing only to blow at his feet.

The water raised over the edge and the bottom of Roman's shoes got wet. It's been a fairly long time since the victims had drowned and it was about time he snapped out of his paralysis. He could see the broken reflections of their corpses at the bottom of the pool. He stepped back and fell on the snow covered grass around the backyard. A very deep emptiness, resulted by the sudden inexistence of two human beings, filled him. Life seemed so absurd. He called the cops and soon was arrested.

In court, he was found guilty of first degree murder and faced the penalty of life in prison without the possibility of parole along with mandatory psychological treatment. After years of prison and many psychology sessions, he still wouldn't believe that Frank was the one taking Laura hostage and Liam was the backup, but he was the one who had mistakenly shot his own wife, a condition called Motivated Forgetting.