Dear Dad

Hi my name is Liliana I'm 20 years old and this is my life story.
As far back as I can remember I've always struggled with my emotions. I remember being so insecure about myself that whenever anyone asked me to speak out loud or even talked to me at all i would get a huge knot in my throat and would want to burst out in tears. I always had my big sister there by my side since I was born and it was just baisaclly her and I as we grew up. Our mom was clincally depressed and was battling with badly. She would just go from work to bed and from bed to work. We never really had a real bond with our mother ever since her and my father split up. He would just harass us and I remember the police always being involved. It's like I remember everything that happened so vividly in my mind. As if it just happened yesterday. I always saw him as my hero when I was younger. I believed he was the most perfect man in the world no matter what he did to me in the back of my mind there was always a voice telling me that he was a good dad. Back then I never really realized how bad my mom had it until now that I am a mother myself. I always thought of her as being selfish and just not loving us at all. I never came to think that she did it all for us, because as amother you always have the choice to completly give up on your child and turn them into foster care of just not give them anything at all. She did it on her own, she raised us both while only recieving the minimum amount of child support from my father thats if he was giving any at all. I understand how bad she had it with my father and i believe she had her reasons to deal with him for about six years. He was just horrible. I remember him just giving my sister a hard time, treating her badly. I remember him treating her way different then me. I remember that when I didn't want to eat anymore he would sit me on his lap and cuddle me and when she didnt want anymore he would yell at her and make her bend down to her knees and sit there for an hour while he cuddled me. I still always believed that he was the best dad in the world.