My True Friends

Defining true friendship can be difficult until you really need a true friend, and the real friends step up to the task without any questions being asked.

Many years I ago, I asked my Mother about friends and friendship. I wondered why I did not have lots of friends. I wondered what it meant that only a few people were in my inner circle. Being my Mother, she smiled and asked me, "How many friends do you think you have?" I said probably three or four, maybe even five. She smiled again and said "Sweetheart, you already have more friends than most people will have in a lifetime. Cherish them."

I was still very upset that I only had four or five friends in my inner circle. So I went back to my wise old Mother and said well maybe I was not defining my friends correctly. So I rattled off a list of people that I called my friends. Being wise, she asked me to tell her something unique and personal about each one of my long list of friends.

I thought and thought. If I came up with something personal, I could not come up with something special. If I came up with something special, I could not come up with anything special. So, she sent me back to my short list with the same two questions, and I asked me to write ten or fifteen things that made them unique, and, to do the same for even more personal stuff. My list has remained short even to this day.

On May 19, my BFF died. It was a terrible day for me. Wrapped up in my feelings I totally ignored the three or four that were left behind. Every day since Yvette Mills' passing one or more of my true friends has either been by my side or on the telephone making sure that I was okay. They have put up with my black moods, my constant mourning about my loss and making sure that I remembered that life was still worth living.

Patricia Fenn and I became friends two years after I met Yvette. We have been friends every day since. Patricia has been there for me through my divorce, the death of my Mother, brothers, cousins, and aunts. Yvette was there too. Hawk was too. And yes, my two favorite cousins for life, hard times, fights, and everything in between. I bring this subject up today because Yvette and I talked about these things, but I don't know if I ever wrote her a poem or painted her a picture. I searched like crazy for some of the pictures we took together over the years, and miraculously I could not find a one.

For the past two months, Washington Armstrong, I call him Hawk, has made it his business to call me more, to come over more (one of my daughters called him my shadow the other day) just to check on me.I met Hawk at least a year before my daughter Kandi was born (she is 39 in December). So again, I ask, why am I writing this, I want to tell my friends how much they mean to me, and how they have made a difference in my life.

My children claim that all of my inner circle friends are weird. LOL, They are -- even I know that, but then, so am I and they make me whole. We go on donut runs together. We know I should never look at another chocolate stampede, but gosh darn, Patricia Fenn just dropped one off for me to consume! Hawk sat around with me yesterday listening to music, talking, and sipping Roscato most of the day. No explanations needed.

At midnight, the phone rings, and one of the remaining friends will ask are you okay? I know you can't sleep. Let's just talk.So why am I writing this for real? Just to remind you that you should probably reach out to your BFF today just to say "I love you and do you wanna talk!"

Gosh darn, I love me some best friends --Pat, Hawk, Martha, Georgia, and, of course, those two best cousins -- Lillian and Lavonne!

Peace and blessings to all of you as always.

P.S. They will get a copy of this just because...