What If

Have you had moment's, day's or minutes you think to yourself what if. What if I stayed with this person? What if I said something earlier? What if I left this person?
How different your like would be if you did the what if in your like that would have change the course of your life as you know it now.
I have always wanted to start my life over change events that happened in it. I know you can't change the past. All anyone can do about their past is think of what if.
For me I have thought hard and long on my past and what would be the changes in my life that would change the course in my life. Change the person I am now.
I am going to tell you what I think my what if would be. My stories are true events that happened in my life and what I would have done to change those events. The people are real so for their privacy I am changing their name.
These are my stories and the way I image my life would be like if I did my what if when in my life I needed to do something and didn't.



Chapter 1
The Rape that never Happened

I'm and going to start off by telling just a small part of this event in my life and then tell you about the what if.
I was around seven year's old not knowing what I know now as an adult. What was wrong for right.
Mom was with Frank for as long as I can remember. He was a father to us kids. Me, Ann, and my brother Rob know Frank as dad. Rob is older then me by three years and got to know our bio dad better then me and Ann got to. Ann is thirteen months younger then me so she never got to know our bio dad as much as I did.
So Frank being in our lives was like having a bio dad since I was like two when my mom and bio dad got divorce. I remember not liking Frank from the first time I saw him, but you know how it is when your a kid and tell adults you don't like someone they don't listen.
At seven is when my life changed. That's when Frank asked me to go in my mom and his room and made me give him a blow job and keep it a secret from everyone. He told me it was to show him how much I love him.
Again I was seven and didn't know that doing that was wrong and keeping it a secret was even wronger. I didn't know he was doing to my little sister too .
This went on and much more until January 10th 1990. I just turned fourteen in September the year before. 1990 was the year he killed himself cause he got my little sister pregnant.
My what if for this event is what if I said something to my mom when it all started. What would my life look like now. So here goes it.

Frank is in his and my mom's room. The room my sister just came out of looking upset. He call's me in "Amy come here I have something to show you." "Okay I guess" I say to him and go into the room. "What I have to show you you can't say anything to anyone about. If you do I'll leave your mom and you kid's" he said.
"I don't know Frank I'm not comfortable with keeping a secret from my mom." I said curiously. "Amy it's fine this secret is just to show me how much you love me." Frank say's well he take's his pants and underwear off. "I don't know. I don't think this is right." I said. With his pants down to his ankle he pushes me down on my knee's and say. "Such on this like a lolly pop." I force myself up to my feet and run out into the kitchen.
With tears running down my face I call out to my mom. "Mom, mom, mommy, please help me mom. Frank is asking me to do something I don't want to do.”
My mom is in the kitchen and she comes to me ask “what is it Amy what did Frank want you to do?” “ mommy Frank took us pants and underwear off pulled me to the ground and told me to suck is thing between his leg like it was a lolly pop. I don’t want to. It doesn’t feel right to do something like that.” I tell my mom.
Mom goes into their room see’s his pants and underwear are still around his ankle and says to him. “Get out of my house and away from my kids and if you ever come back or near me and my kids ever again I’ll have you arrested on site if you don’t get arrested on way out of my house.