Daydreaming

I still pray
For everything we did have
For everything that we wanted
For the train stations I waited in
With such infinite childish hope
With every memory
That I refused to let go
Because the pain was way too precious
Because I loved to hear you come back
every single time
You thought I was happier without you
For every single fucking poem
For every speech
For every place that reminded me of
Something we could have had together
Because my finger tips know
Your finger tips
The length of your hair
Because your scent is the only thing I smell
When I feel sorry for myself
Because I knew I lost myself
When I had lost you
And I don't know if this self pity is just connected to my identity now
But whatever it is, I will never know if I want it to go away
You know, I used to watch the stars every night
Now I haven't seen them in forever