Finding the Light

To lose your mind is an unpleasant process. The color fades, and the dark takes over. Sometimes, but only sometimes, if you look long enough, try hard enough a little speck of color will appear. But don't be fooled, all it takes is one word and your sitting in your bedroom floor holding your head in your hands, wondering how on earth you got to that point. The crying comes again like a second flood of of rain.

Then suddenly the tears subside, the mist covering your mind clears, and for the first time in however long you feel loved, wanted, like you are worth more then the darkness allows you to believe. You hear His voice telling you not to worry, to hide the blade. Without medication, without being told your as insane as you believe you start to become whole again. This process is long, and difficult.

If you lose that faith for a second the darkness rushes back. You have to force it out of your mind. After going through it all, when you come out the other side you don't know who you are, or where you fit in. All you can think is who was there when you needed them? All you have to do is remind yourself that anyone that entered and/or left your life is for a purpose. You have to not dwell on your past, but believe in your future. If you don't, you are more likely to be swallowed by the darkness once again, just to start it all again.

Even after you see color again your mind will occasionally fill with the blackness that once consumed your mind so much so that your head will become heavy. You will become tired and will find yourself not wanting to listen or speak, but to simply sleep. You will want to sleep until the pressure in your mind evaporates. You have to pull yourself out of that place or you will find yourself isolated from everyone, and the color will disappear once again.