,,Thanks
for taking the time to listen to me complain about you never
listening to me. ''
Is
this conversation familiar?
I'm
sure it is.
This
happens in every couple at some point. The challenge is to diminish
as much as possible the frequency of it.
Usually
the best at not listening are the men. Women, though, are no
exception. Parents also. What about children? They are the champions
when it comes to not listening their parents. What about angry
customers? Or indifferent business owners. Or employers...
Among
the many causes of this lack of communication is one that is sadly
ignored over and over again: people are paying full attention to
whatever interests them.
Most
of the time, we think about ourselves: what I want, what I am
interested in, what gives me pleasure & satisfaction.
Most
of the time we think about our own person.
If
one would try to make a statistic about the word that is mostly used
in all type of conversations, what do you think the result would be?
Your
guess is correct: I.
I
is the most used word in a conversation.
What
differentiates us, humans, from animals is the feeling of importance.
This
is the most powerful drive for an individual.
We
want our importance to be recognized publicly, we want to be praised
& appreciated, we want to be acknowledged.
,,
Can you hear me now?
Make
what you say matter and increase your chance of being heard.
''
We
all want to be heard, to be listened.
When
somebody really listens to us, we feel extraordinary. It means that
what we say is important, is worth hearing.
It
means we matter for the other person.
Perhaps
if we tried to really focus our attention on what the other person is
saying, stopping for only a few minutes to think about ourselves,
things would be different.
Perhaps,
if we want to be listened, we could try to listen first to the other,
and then his/hers attention would be granted undivided &
willingly, we could try to be first genuinely interested in what
he/she wants, and then ask to be heard.
Perhaps
,, You Never Listen To Me'' could turn into: ,, A Big Thank
You for listening to me patiently!''
If
you think it requires too much effort, search your heart, and you
will discover it is life- changing:
,,
It's impossible,'' said pride. ,, It's risky,'' said
experience. ,, It's pointless,'' said reason. ,, Give it a
try,'' whispered the HEART.
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