Death is surreal

My life has been surrounded by a dark cloud.
Going through so much I can't even say it out loud.
My life has me weak..I can't even speak..
I am drowning in fear..Is my mother death near?
It drove me insane,
I literally watched cancer eat at both of my parents brains.
Cancer really takes its toll on a person soul.
I feared the day my mom would take her last breath..Lord knows I can't handle her death...
How do I save her? What more can I do? Have I went down all possible avenues?
Lord please, there has to be something I can do, I don't want to lose my mother too. We just layed my fathers soul to rest, dear Lord, I can't handle another test. I am doing my best to stay strong knowing all along I am the one my mom leans on. but I know my shoulders are not that strong but still took the responsibilities on! Never quit cheering her on! Taking her to every appointment and not leaving her side I am here for the long ride! I am on her side, we are going to fight until we die!