passing time

5:27 p.m
here i go again. sitting in my apartment alone, barely able to get through dinner. i never realized how difficult it would be to eat without you here.
7:40 p.m
you see, the problem with us is that we'd have so much fun together, time flew by. it'd be 2:30 in the morning before i'd glance at the clock and insist we get in bed. we didn't end up actually falling asleep for another 30 minutes, though. but time drags on now; it feels like it should be 1 in the morning but it's only 7:40.
10:13 p.m
god damn, i'm pathetic. i feel as if any moment i'll feel the bed dip down and open my eyes to see you right next to me. but since that never happens, i never get enough sleep. i'm sure your somewhere, sleeping fine, so why can't i do the same?
12:49 a.m
i've given up on sleep by now. instead i lay in bed, watching a stupid movie about something i haven't paid enough attention to find out. i'm watching the screen, but a part of me is detached, missing. i'm sure it's the piece of me you took when you left.
3:04 a.m
i'm tired, i'm so tired i can barely keep my eyes open. but everytime i shut them, a thought of you creeps into my brain and wakes me back up. do you even know what you did to me? it's a shame, because, although you're the reason i can't sleep at night, i'd still take you back in a heartbeat.
7:54 a.m
i'm finally falling asleep, the thoughts of you not enough to keep me awake any longer. i'm sure these thoughts are screaming at me, trying their hardest to wake me yet again. but i don't succumb, i can't succumb because after 10 hours of thinking about you my body has had enough. it's ashamed of me, ashamed that i'm plagued by stupid memories of a time when it was you and i.
12:30 p.m
i can already tell today is going to be just like the last. it's become routine, a routine that i have grown to get used to. i wish it wasn't like this, but it is. it is like this, and it's because of you. you did this to me, and yet i still love you.
love works in mysterious ways, huh?