Never Been Kissed - Part 1

Never Been Kissed

Sierra Foothills, California -- 2010

Faded, battered and bruised, the old cedar chest that Rachel ruefully called her hopeless chest, sat in the corner mocking her.

Enraged, Rachel jumped off the bed, dashed the tears from her eyes and stalked towards the chest determined to wipe that smirk off its burnished patina.

I am sick and tired of you sitting there looking at me with that look for years! I might be a failure at finding someone to love me but I know how to get a good fire going and you are going into the next one I make. I am done with you and your so-called hopes.

Rachel slammed her palm against the top of the chest in frustration as she knelt down in front of the chest. Taking a deep breath, she opened the chest's heavy lid and a calming cloud of cedar scent rushed out and surrounded her like a blessing

The purity of white pillowcases embroidered with brightly colored flowers and leaves smiled brightly up at Rachel as she looked into the chest. Folded perfectly, they were all just as she had laid them years ago when her hopes had filled her with joy. Gently, she reached in and brought one up to her cheek. The smooth cotton felt cool and silky against her skin. The violet-scented sachets she had placed in the chest had permeated the material and wafted into her being making her smile.

Lovingly, she put the pillowcase back with its patient companions.It has been so long since I looked in this chest or put anything in here.Rachel's eyes scanned the contents. As time went on, years went by, she had placed other treasures inside. Her high school diploma, her son's baptismal certificate, jewelry her grandmother had given her, old photos and a Spanish fan that she used to love to flick open and pretend she was a Spanish flamenco dancer, tapping her feet and arching her neck in her youthful version of beauty and grace.

The edges of a plastic bag down towards the bottom of the chest made Rachel's heart leap.Oh Smokey! I had forgotten all about youCarefully lifting the bag out of the chest, she reached in and tenderly removed her beloved stuffed cocker spaniel, Smokey. The black of his eyes was worn off with only the metal showing and his long ears were matted, the sweet curls of his fur flattened. Smokey, you are definitely having a bad hair day, aren't you?She murmured as she clutched him tenderly to her chest. Memories of her childhood, days when Smokey was her constant companion, comforter and playmate filled her mind. How could I have forgotten you? I really miss those days when life was simple and loneliness didn't linger like a shadow.

Rachel sighed and put Smokey back in his package. As she put him in the chest her eyes spied the corner of something yellow at the very bottom of the chest.What's that? I don't remember putting that in here.

Scrabbling at the bottom, she grasped the edges and pulled it out. She saw it was an old office envelope with a wad of yellow lined paper shoved carelessly inside. Her heart dropped as she realized what it was.I thought I had torn that up and thrown it away. When did I put this in here. Why did I save it?

Settling back on her heels, Rachel opened the envelope and lifted out the wad of yellow paper. Smoothing the first sheet, she forced herself to read what had been scrawled on the page.

Roses are red, violets are blue
How did I get so lucky
to meet a beauty like you!

Yeah, right! lucky you? unlucky me!Rachel thought as pulled each yellow lined sheet out of the envelope and read words, poems that had brought happiness to her naive young heart years ago. Her anxiety and anger rose up in her chest, causing her body to quiver as she remembered that time so early in her life. It dawned on her, as she sat there reading the notes, that this was the point in her life where she had learned never to trust in love.

**************

Yerba Buena High School, California - 1980

Senorita Rachel, you are wanted in the school office. You have been excused from class.

The usual before-class chitter chatter died down as all eyes turned to Rachel who was sitting there with a surprised look on her face.

What? Me? What do they want Mr. Garcia? Rachel stuttered as her classmates continued to look at her. Rachel never got in trouble and being called to the office at the beginning of the school year just didn't make sense. For some of her classmates, this was the first time they had really looked at Rachel.

Rachel, they didn't tell me what they wanted. Just run along now and come back to class if you get out in time. Mr. Garcia, the handsome varsity football coach/Spanish teacher, smiled at her as he waved his hands towards the doorway as if shooing a fly out of his breakfast.

Rachel arrived at the office out of breath and more than a little worried. She hadn't been called to the office since grade school when Mother Superior had summoned her for a meeting with her parents.

"Rachel! Great, you're here." The guidance counselor, Mrs. Patterson had a big smile on her face as she walked up to Rachel, put her arm around her shoulders and said, "Let's go into my office. I think I have some really good news for you, news you will like." Rachel walked with Mrs. Patterson wondering,What in the heck is she talking about? I didn't even know she knew my name let alone knows what I would like.

"So, Rachel. I have had really good reports from your teachers about you. Your typing and word processing instructors say you have promise." Mrs. Patterson smiled broadly at Rachel as if they were best friends.

Really? Wow! that's neat. I had no idea. Why don't they ever say anything to me?"

"We have had a request from CCA for some high school interns to do secretarial work and I immediately thought of you. Since this is your senior year and you really only need one class left to graduate, I wanted to talk to you to see if you would be interested. It is a paid position and I can set you up with a night school class at the local community college to fulfill your graduate requirements. What do you think?"

CCA! That is the biggest company here in the Silicon Valley. A job? That's fantastic! I can't believe this.Rachel stared at Mrs. Patterson not knowing what to say, it was such an amazing prospect.

"Rachel? What do you think? It is a great opportunity for you, I think."
Rachel realized she was just staring at Mrs. Patterson dumbfounded and she unstuck her tongue to say, "Yes, Mrs. Patterson, yes, I would love to have a job. I just have to ask my mother but I am sure she will approve."

"That's great Rachel. Talk to your mom and let me know tomorrow. CCA wants you to start this week. Now, run along to your class. I am excited for you Rachel." Mrs. Patterson rose from her seat behind her desk and ushered Rachel out of her office.

The rest of that day Rachel was beside herself thinking of what working would be like. She had never had a job before or any real money.

**************

The next morning Rachel's mom drove her out to the big corporate campus of CCA in the foothills. There it sat, brand new, gleaming modern structures. To Rachel it seemed they were just glowing with the possibility of success and a bright future for her. Butterflies raced to and fro in her stomach as her mother pulled in to drop her off.

"Have a great day honey. I am so proud of you. I will pick you up at 5 pm right here, okay?"

Rachel gave her mom a big hug and rushed out of the car and into the glass windowed lobby. The receptionist had Rachel wait while she called Rachel's new boss. While she waited, Rachel looked around wide-eyed and started to wonder if she could do the job they wanted her to do. Yes, she had high marks in word processing training and she knew shorthand, as well as having a typing speed well over 100 words per minute but she still was nervous.I sure hope I don't disappoint my boss. How would I tell my teachers, my mom, my family that I couldn't cut it?

Rachel was startled out of her self-questioning reverie by a man's voice,

"Rachel?"

"Yes," Rachel stammered as she looked up at the man speaking to her.

"Hi, I'm Gary Hansen," the man smiled as he reached out his hand to shake hers. Automatically, Rachel reached out and shook his hand. It was the first time she had ever shaken a person's hand and it felt quite grown up. Gary was a tall, thin man with bright blue eyes behind wire rimmed glasses and a graying hair cut in a very short, military crewcut. He wore a button down short sleeved white shirt, pressed to perfection, a tie, slacks and the expected pocket protector in his shirt pocket.

"Hi, Mr. Hansen," Rachel smiled as she said, "I am so thankful to have this opportunity. Thank you."

"Well, Rachel, you have great skills and we here at CCA like to support young folks starting out in their careers. You are welcome, though. Okay, now let's get going. I want to show you your office, explain your duties and have you meet the people you will be supporting for the year."

Off they went, Rachel walking behind Gary as he walked briskly to the elevator. Gary started right in talking.

"We are almost all moved into this new facility and your duties will be to support 5 engineers, including myself. We have the usual correspondence, as well as some reports and other documents that you will be responsible for generating for us. I understand that you are still a student but I do expect you to be on time and as professional as you can be about this. There will be phone work and some taking of dictation, primarily from me. I have missed having that skill available to me and I am glad you are skilled at shorthand. Also, opening mail, photocopying and keeping my calendar will be part of your responsibilities." Gary stopped and smiled at Rachel.

"Don't worry, I will walk you through how I would like these tasks accomplished. I am sure you will do fine."

Rachel just stared at her new boss, I'm glad you are sure. That sounds like a lot of work and I just hope I can do itSmiling, she said shook her head, "I am a quick learner, I think. And don't worry about me being a student. I actually don't need to take any classes to graduate, that is why I am available full time." I guess I finally found a good reason for not having a social life was a good thing, made me focus on school.


Exiting the elevator, Gary motioned for Rachel to follow him as he went to each office and introduced Rachel to the men she would be working for. All seemed nice and welcoming. Rachel had never been around so many men at one time. Even so, she felt comfortable and safe, much more comfortable around these older men than she did with boys her own age. Her parents were divorced and she was raised by her mother along with her 3 sisters. They lived a very quiet existence and her mother never dated. She felt quite excited to be welcomed and started to think,maybe I can do this after all!

By the end of the day when her mom picked her up, Rachel's head was awhirl with all of the information and she chattered away to her mother about the job, her little office, and about how nice the people were that she would be working for.

******End of Part I********