We
sat in silence as Ben drove; not complete silence, however. The radio
was playing some top forty song that was obnoxiously annoying and the
sound of the wheels making friction with the road was also present.
My face was dampened by tears and flushed as I was looking out the
window as Ben and I cruised on the highway. My head was resting on my
hand; I felt so numb that it felt like I had to hold up my head
or it was going to fall off. Ben didn't say a word during my
whole....episode? I
don't know what you would call it---a right of passage into
adulthood? Is this what college kids go through when they leave their
parents for the first time? The initial 'freak
out' as
they say? Then the kid is fine after they meet their
new roommates and soon to be friends and get laid
and whatnot, right? Right.
I
just didn't know if I was
going to be alright. As I glanced back at Benjamin--I
mean, Ben--for
a brief moment, he didn't notice me. It really felt like I was
actually invisible, but I knew he was just trying to focus on the
road....I think. I sighed quietly and resumed my never-ending stare
out the window with the ever changing scenery. We were in the
outskirts of the main city now, otherwise known as the ghetto. Yeah
even in the future the ghetto still exists. The real definition of
ghetto means, 'people of a certain culture living in one certain
area' or something like that. Over here it's defined as, 'people who
are poor and happened to have more melanin than most
that live in a certain area' if you catch my drift...that is. Hey I
didn't make this up, it's just how it is. It hasn't changed for
a long time and probably won't change for a while, unfortunately.
With
that awkward subject aside, Ben's voice finally cut the tension,
"So..."
Is
that seriously the best you could come up
with, Mr.Harvard?! "Yeah?"
I guess that wasn't much better....
"I
apologize for this whole fiasco. I'm at my own detriment....I am the
weakest link." He actually sounded, sad? I couldn't quite put my
finger on it. I turned my head to him for a moment, disregarding my
feelings of disgust. He then continued when we made eye contact for
a millisecond, "I mean it, Dakota. I was so arrogant and
just plain selfish. Not just towards you, but towards everyone. I'm
so sorry."
Then
I felt myself speak before I could think of what to say, have you
ever done that? Depression and being extremely happy does that to
you---I've noticed at least. "We have to move past this," I
said in an unfitting, irate tone, "There's nothing we can do
about the past but learn from it, Ben." I was right, though.
Wherever this was coming from, my personal Jiminy Cricket perhaps, it
was a hundred percent correct...like it or not.
Most
of the time we don't move on from on from our problems because we
don't enjoy the fact we have to change or the change itself is not to
our personal taste. This was a forced march, as my dear old dad used
to say....when we got along, that is.
Ben
seemed to regained his composure, if he had lost any,
"Hmm...Yes." He then returned his focus back to the road,
even though his eyes were on it the entire time.
It
was like he was inclined to agree with me, Ms. Drop Out, because of
my education---or my lack of it.
More silence,
more deafening silence, the
worse kind. I shifted my body to face the front windshield and just
sat facing forward. Just
how long are we going to go on like this? I
had to say something...something to really break the
tension...but what? Man,
I wish I had social skills. However even with best social
skills, I don't believe someone could get out of this with too much
ease.
I
thought about what I was going to say this time and I said it,
"Maybe we should have fun...for one last night.."
You
could tell he paused to mull over that before speaking about it,
"But where? We're still underage and we don't have fake IDs."
Was
he really on
board? Wow.
"There's this place I surprised you haven't heard
about: Turquoise Technology Hut. It's a joint I wanted
to go to for awhile and---
"My
brother founded the place. Of
course I've
heard about it."
"Small
world, eh?" At least we were talking like we
were...friends? No...partners...No...I
don't know!
Ben
sighed as if this was going to be an awkward family reunion, which it
probably was. Then again, aren't all family reunions odd
and unsettling at some point? Ben then spoke, "Yeah, we can
go...It's a few exits from here and it's not out of our way."
"'Not
out of our way'?" I mirrored him, "Weren't we going nowhere
in particular?"
"Well
we were heading," he stopped as he caught himself, "Yeah I
guess so."
As
we made it to the correct exit, exit four twenty mind you, we both
gave each other looks like we were in middle school and snickered in
just the same fashion. I guess nothing changes, no matter if you went
to Harvard or dropped out of high school.
When
we made made a few turns: one right, two left, and there it
stood! A brick building with a teal--not turquoise for some
odd reason--roof in the middle of nowhere. Well, nowhere meaning
a town with little population in this case. The neon
sign proclaiming that indeed that this was the place,
Ben let me in first into this unknown territory.
Two
words: Drag Queens. Who knew they would flock to a place
like this? Ben
and I turned to look at each other and back forward as we walked
in past the hanging beads. The red-lit, blurry windowed corridor was
short and led into the organized chaos of the place. Drag queens
dancing on the multicolored LED-lit floor with men and women
from the super skinny to abnormally obese. I believe there
were Drag Kings, too.
I'm all for gender equality, but this was definitely so unexpected on
so many levels. There were people ordering---was that sushi?! Then
I followed the waiter with my eyes back to the sushi bar where indeed
there was, well obviously sushi being made along with
sashimi. I miss eating sushi and sashimi; it was my favorite before I
went vegan. As my stomach growled and I fought the urge to drool, I
noticed Ben was no where by my side.
If
there was a time to feel like a kid without their mommy in
the grocery store, this was it. I made a battle stance
and the 'where'd ya go' head shake. I was standing in the middle of
this odd club of people on laptops, people eating sushi, and people
dancing with Queens and Kings!
Then I
realized I had to find my partner in crime. As I went to the
dance floor, I quickly made my first mistake. "Excuse
me..." I mumbled so quietly that you understood me if you could
read lips, "Pardon me..." I attempted to weave through the
crowd, however...a tall, dark-skinned Queen had wanted to dance with
me.
"Oh,
Darlin'! What's the rush?" she began in a Southern drawl, which
I couldn't tell was fake or not, as she grabbed my hand gracefully as
one should.
I
had never met someone like this before, but I knew they were like
everyone else...right? Right. Curse my father for making me
ignorant! Agh, it's not his fault...he didn't know either...I'm so
confused. "So-Sorry, I'm here to see Kensworth."
"Oh, Darlin'
he's not gonna be dancin' tonight! He's over yonder talkin' to
his brotha' Benjamin at the table." She then pointed at a
table where Ben and another guy were talking across two
laptops.
"Thank
you!" I breathed out relief, "Now I must go, sorry for
bothering you..."
I
began to go past her but she grabbed my arm and said more seriously,
"The name's Angie, Sweetheart. You come to me when you're done,
okay?" Angie smiled as I nodded and returned a grin and then she
let me go.
Ben
did a double take as I walked up to his table all sweaty from the
dance floor. The other man turned around to check me out and looked
nothing like Ben. Then again, Ben didn't have any related brothers or
sisters. This must be a step-brother.
Ben
then made my prediction true, "Oh, Dakota. This is my
step-brother, Michael. He's the one I was telling you about with the
SIM cards."
"Hi,
Dakota. Nice to meet you. You can call me Mike." Mike held out a
hand and smiled when I shook it. He actually sounded and
seemed...kind. I wondered how these two got along when they were so
different. Then again, Ben did say if he messed with him he would be
killed and he wasn't beating around the bush. Who knew what
was really going
on in the Kensworth family? I sure as hell didn't.
"Seems
like you were getting to know the Queens..." Ben pointed with
drink in hand to Angie's general direction.
"Oh piss
off,
Benjamin! They'll kick your ass just like anyone else." Mike
glared at them.
"They're
just dollar signs to you, Mikey Boy....Now
back to business...."
"No
they're not!"
"Yes
they are."
"Are
not!"
"Are
too."
"Are
not!"
This
went on a few more times until I cut in, "Really? You
two are both older than me and this is
how you act?"
They
both looked at me and back to each other and did a
silent reconciliation. It was quite the humorous sight. Then
Mike spoke as he averted his gaze back to me, "Have a seat,
Dakota. I need to tell you what I told Ben here."
Seeing
no chair at the small table, I pulled one up from an empty table real
close, sat on it backwards all cool, and put my chin on the back of
it. Ben then began, "Mikey Boy says that we can stay here."
Mike
replied, "Yeah, in the rooms downstairs but---
"We
have to deal with him."
Ben finished.
"That and
you'll have to face the government head on...eventually."
"Wait..."
I understood what they said it's just, "What if my mother files
a missing persons report? We're not far for her to find us, Ben..."
"You're
just thinking of that now?" Ben said as he looked at me with the
'really?' glance, "We'll call her, say you went on a trip to
find yourself and couldn't say goodbye."
"She'll
want to hear it from me, though. And I cannot lie to
her..." Guilt filled me like gas in a chamber.
"Trust
me," Mike said, "we'll have one of our Queens talk to her.
They're really good at this kind of stuff. After all,
most work at the women's shelter down the street."
This
must be where they blow off steam, I
thought. I still wasn't a hundred percent on board, but it seems this
is our only option. "Fine. Just do your best."
Mike
nodded and beamed with more confidence than I ever wished to have.
The music seemed to get louder after that.
Ben
then sipped his drink and tapped my shoulder annoyingly which made me
glare at him, "Hey, don't look at me like that; it got your
attention. Anyway, why don't you talk to that Queen you were mingling
with again? We got all night! Have fun! That's
what we came here for, right?"
I
peered over my shoulder for a brief moment back at the dance floor
and back to Ben. I then thought about it and soon nodded. Before I
knew it, my feet led me to Angie who was dancing alone.
"Oh
Darlin'!" Angie saw me and danced towards me, "You're back!
Wanna dance?"
"I
forgot to introduce myself," I talked over the booming music
into her ear, "My name's Dakota."
"Dakota,
nice name!" She must have gotten the queue that I wasn't in the
mood to dance because she took my hand and led me to an empty table.
"Sorry, I could barely hear ya! Plus, you weren't dancin'! Is
somethin' on yo' mind?" She sat in her chair, bent
over sideways, and picked up her purse that I didn't see. Talk about
trusting people.
As
she was perusing it, I spoke honestly to a real stranger for
once, "Yeah, there is."
Angie
looked up at me from her purse in the middle of scavenging just
like my mother would, "Well," she went back in and found
her red lipstick and small mirror and began to put in on, "what's
wrong, Sweetie?" She glanced at me from her mirror waiting for
an answer.
"I
shouldn't have gotten into---
"See,"
She slammed the now closed lipstick on the table, "that's your
first problem! You got regrets! You can't have regrets, honey!
Even if you in jail because of it; you did it because part
of you wanted to. You just got to own up to it, be remorseful fo'
awhile, and move on! Shit. People's
problems are so blown out proportion sometimes..."
Angie went back to looking at herself in her small makeup
mirror and then put it away in her purse. Her purse was then placed
back on the ground.
"What
if you might get killed because of it?" I slipped to a complete
stranger. Not the first time, but the first time to someone
in person.
She
looked at me with wide eyes and then sighed, "Listen..."
she had gotten barely audible and more somber, "the government's
after ya, too?"
My eyebrows
were raised, "You mean...you know?"
Angie
looked around and back to me before grabbing and holding my hand,
"Honey, I'm a
hacker too. The crime is now punishable by death thanks
to senator Kensworth. Yes...the father of the same Kensworth who
runs this bitch. We come here to fight back the law, much like the
prohibitionists did in the nineteen-twenties. Is he letting you
stay here?"
"Yes."
I admitted.
"You're
not the only ones, then," She squeezed my hand in a comforting
way, "Let me guess, you're actually gonna fight back because
you're hooking up with Bennie Boy?"
Hooking
up? WHAT?!! "Um, no...he
was the one who threw me under the bus....Ben that is."
"Ohh,"
I could feel the embarrassment radiate from Angie---and
from myself, "Sorry. Anyway,
I can help. My legal name is Andrew Oaks and I have years in the
field, went to Stanford, all that crap. How about you?"
Oh, shit. "Um...no special school...just
a hobbyist hacker....uh, yeah." If this was an interview, I
would be in the 'definitely NOT interested'
file.
Angie
sat back and let go of my hand, "Ah I see, girlfriend. You
really are going up Shit's Creek without a paddle!"
She then began to laugh...hard. "Woo...Sorry! Sorry..."
I
would've laughed too, to be frank. However, this was my life and when
it's you then it isn't funny anymore. "So..." I
began to think of something, but forgot.
"Listen,
listen," she wiped a happy tear away from her eye,
"I'll join you guys since I'm in the same boat, practically."
Angie then regain composure and gotten more serious, "After we
dance for the night, we'll got to my room and discuss more...okay?"
"Dance?" Oh
dear Lord,
"I don't dance..."
"Oh
after tonight you will, Sweetie." She stood up, yanked me by the
arm, and pulled me up and onto the dance floor. This was going to be
another long night, I tell ya.
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