A fathers struggle and a daughters love

         

         It was the weekend of my eighth birthday. My brother had a football game, so my mom, friend Elizabeth, and I went. My birthday was the next day. My dad and his friend chuck had already been at the game. When we finally arrived Chuck was sitting alone. He had said my dad went to go get food and had been gone for a while now. The game ended and my dad still hadn't come back. I remember hearing my mom and chuck talking about if he had probably been pulled over. They didn't think I could hear. I could feel my stomach tie into a knot when I heard this. We got home and my mom got the call. He was arrested for his fifth DUI and would have to stay in jail all weekend. I remember crying myself to sleep that night.

The next day I had my birthday party but to all of my friends, except Elizabeth, my dad was away on business. He called that night to tell me happy birthday, while my friends were outside playing. I cried the entire time on the phone with him. The next year he was away on business for my birthday again... After that he quit drinking for about a year. It was the best year of my young life. He was around a lot more. He and my mom didn't fight nearly as much. Also he was home for that birthday.

Then that day came. The day everything would go back and turn bad again. We were in Okoboji for the winter games with my parent's friends and their kids. Joe my dad's friend drinks a lot. So one night all of us kids stayed at the hotel with my older sister babysitting us while our parents went out. My dad hadn't drank in a year. All of the other kids had went to sleep while I stayed up to wait for my dad. I had a gut feeling things weren't going to be the same. Around 2 in the morning they arrived. I'd seen my dad drunk many times before so when he came staggering in laughing all loud I already knew that one happy year was over. I had acted like I was sleeping so I wouldn't get in trouble but that night it was hard for me to sleep at all. I had felt resentment towards my dad the rest of that trip.

After that trip it all went downhill again. My dad would leave for work early I the morning then wouldn't come home till late at night. I didn't see him much and when I did he was either past out or blacked out. He had gotten two more Dui but that was the last straw. With his seventh Dui he had to go to court but this time it wouldn't be just a weekend in jail. The judge was thinking about giving him five to 15 years in jail. Five years I would almost be twenty by the time he would get out. Fifteen id almost be thirty he would miss so much maybe even my wedding. These kind of thoughts ran through my head till his court date. We kids didn't go because well we didn't want to. Also my mom would have never let us anyways.

With a good lawyer and a happy judge we only got six months. After one month he got work release. I was able to go with my mom to take him back to jail every night which I was fine with. I slept with my mom every night. After a long six months my dad was home. I still remember the exact date, December 11th. I had it written in my agenda I had for school. Besides my best friend Elizabeth no one really knew about my dad. It's not something you want everybody knowing. It was very hard for me those six months while I was in school.

I remember how the day he got home he ate everything. He told us how in jail the made these burritos that had like mayonnaise and ramen noodles in them. They sounded gross but he said they are good. I guess in jail it doesn't take much to make you happy. He said how he read a lot and slept a lot while he was in there. H also got his GED since he never went to high school. I was very proud of him for that even though he was in jail while he got it. My mom never took us to see him when he was in there without work release. Which at the time I was mad because she would go see him and I wanted to but couldn't. Today I am glad she never took us. I would never want to see my dad in that way. He then went back to drinking again but it was only now and then. Like he'd have wine at dinner or he would go out on the weekends. I didn't care if it was once a month I didn't like it.

Then one night my brother wasn't acting himself at all. My dad took him to the hospital the next day. After school that day I went home with Elizabeth which was unusual. Then after a while her mom took me and my sister to the hospital. No one was telling me what was going on. I was scared and didn't know what to think. We walked in the room and my brother was laying there getting a needle put in his arm. I couldn't deal with it and turn towards the wall and just started bawling. My mom then took me and Mandi my sister out of the room to tell us what was going on. With her crying she told us they found a mass in his brain the size of a grapefruit. At that time they didn't know for sure what it was. They told my parents there was a 10% chance of him living.

At this time my dad became very religious. Me and him would go to the church in the hospital and just pray together. He made a promise with God that day that if God will save masons life he would never drink again. That was a breaking point for my dad but it ended up saving my brother and his life. That was a hard time for my whole family but I thank God every day for the outcome.

Sobriety is a thing that needs to be taken day by day. I know this because I have my worries with my dad. Days go by when he is stressed to the max and has smoked two packs of cigarettes and I wonder does he want a drink. Will there be a day he finally snaps and does take a drink? This could be very true and even could happened tomorrow or the next day. That day will be the day I cut all ties with my dad. It may be extreme but I don't deserve to be put through that again. My siblings don't deserve that. Most important my mom does not deserve that what so ever. My mom is the strongest person I have ever met in my life. She has been through things no human being should ever have to go through. The main thing is she believed in my dad. If she never believed in him and just left I wouldn't have my dad in my life today. My dad is very strong for his sobriety but he has nothing on my mom.

My cousin tommy is falling in my dad's footsteps. He has just received his fifth dui and that is a felony. My dad has talked to him and given him many chances by letting him work with him and stay at our house etc. He has ruined every single one of those chances. My dad sister and I all were talking about his situation and my dad really opened up to me. M7y cousin tommy doesn't only drink he also does drugs, what I didn't know was my dad also used to do drugs. When my dad told me this I was heartbroken. I never knew this about him and now I wish I never did.

My main worry now is my sister. Recently she turned 21 and has been drinking a lot lately. The other night my parents stayed at our cabin and I was at my house with my boyfriend Billy sleeping and all of a sudden my sister came barging in through the door. She was so drunk she couldn't even walk without the walls assistance. I was so tired I just fell back asleep. Then I woke to her boyfriend yelling asking me if I could go get her car. I was so upset I couldn't even look at her.

The next day was when my dad talked to us about it. She was upset with me but I think she needed it. I want her to have a bright future. That will not happen if she is drinking so much and becoming an alcoholic. With the past of alcoholism in my family so heavily I decided I don't ever want to be like that. So from this day forward I will never become an alcoholic.