paleo

298 Word



Paleo



"Don't go out there," Randy panted, removing his earbuds.

It took a bit of convincing, but after three months of exercise and following our strict Paleo diet rules Randy was down 20lbs.

"Why?" I sighed, struggling to put on my shoes, while holding a trashbag.

"Cause, Mrs. Lewis is outside." He took the heavy bag from me.

"What now?" I groaned.

"She thinks our new tree will grow too big and block her sunlight."

"You mean block her view of our window."

"She's also complaining about our trash. It's attracting raccoons."

I pantomimed a scream.

Randy leaned against the wall, and smirked at my performance. "She's old, bored, and..."

"Annoying? Aggravating? Obnoxious?"

"I was going to say lonely. I've got this." Randy nodded at the bag.

"Thanks. Oh, make sure the lid is on tight... She's right about the raccoons," I muttered. "Last week I was outside at 5:30am, in PJ's, picking up trash."

"Where was I?"

"Running."

"Sorry." He paused, grimaced, then asked, "No one saw, right?"

I looked at him incredulously.

"Hey... Why don't we have her for dinner?"

"Seriously?" I squeaked. "Uh, no way."

"It would solve our problems."

"No it wouldn't 'cause, 1," I held up my finger, "too close to home. Remember the rules. No neighbors." Randy bobbled his head, hesitantly agreeing. "2, Just, ewww. Not her."

"You know, only your first argument is viable," he quipped, ducking out the door.

After a couple minutes, Randy dropped the newspaper in front of me on the kitchen counter. "We're in the news again," he said with a wink.

"6th Person Missing: No New Leads," I read outloud. "See, this is exactly why we stick to the rules."

"What's for dinner? Smells delicious."

"Let's see..." I paused as I skimmed the paper, "Apparently, Mr. Alex Fong."