A Permanent Solution to a Temporary Insanity. |
In the dark night she quietly sits Her babies are sleeping she is again restless. Her husband is driving Working through the night Her babies are peaceful safely tucked in tight. What is she to do about this aching pain inside? It only gets worse showing her no respite. It isn't her babies' fault But she knows they will cry It isn't her husband's fault It's no ones fault, ALL RIGHT? But it hurts and it won't go away All those years of lies she is facing today And she sits quiet in the dark night the loaded .38 in her lap held tight She knows she is crazy but she cannot help it this night She is so scared and lost and it hurts too much to fight Slowly she stands resolve settling within She grabs some change for a phone call to a friend The .38 is tucked in a pocket as she leaves her babies asleep Hurrying two blocks away to a pay phone to weep. Her friend picks up sleep sounding so thick She explains she needs help please come over her babies are sick. Her friend is quiet but then agrees to come by She thanks her profusely then hangs up before she can cry. It's a short walk to the river and to the levy paths She looks at reflected lights as the river quietly flows past. "I just want the pain to stop Is this so much to ask?" She pleads tearfully the .38 now in her hands. She hasn't left the usual trails a suicide usually shows She did call a friend over to watch her babies though She imagines her friend's confusion as she enters the quiet house All three of her babies will be sleeping Their mother no where around. No note saying where she went will ever be found No one to know her terrible secret the one haunting her profound Not even her diary will be able to tell she burned it this night the ashes of her thoughts sent to hell A strange thought crosses her mind as the .38 goes into her mouth Women don't use guns most prefer to take pills But as she pulls the trigger she finds an inner consolation she is a lesbian God will take that into consideration. Does she feel anything as the bullet explodes her brain? I don't know All I know is she wanted to stop her pain. originally written: 2 August 2001 revised last verse: 27 May 2003 From: Does she feel any pain as the bullet explodes her brain? I don't know All I know is she wanted to stop her pain. to: Does she feel anything as the bullet explodes her brain? I don't know All I know is she wanted to stop her pain. to view more poems go to: "My Poetic Angst" |