The Life and Time of a Pregnancy

The Life and Time of a Pregnancy.

Her name is Jill she is sitting in a restaurant with her husband Tom.
They are having dinner with family and love ones. They are celebrating
the good news. Jill and Tom are having a baby.

Some one has mistaken her order and gave her a grasshopper her favor drink.
She like it because it has mint and green her favor taste and color and
it’s not made out of real grasshopper.

She started to reach for the drink. She close her eyes.

“One good thing about being pregnant is I’m finally going to get those
big boob I all way wanted. The bad new is I’m also going to get fat.”

“You look beautiful.” Tom replay.

“ Shut up I look like a cow.”

There are times Tom know when not to say anything. This is one of them.
After coming home from the shopping. Jill sit down on the couch.

“How many times did I have to stop to take a pee?”

“ Five or six.”

Then there are time when he doesn’t know.

“Now I suppose you going to say something about my farts or burp?”

Tom look up at the ceiling and think to himself. Self what every you say.
So don’t say anything.

“My ankles, why in the hell are my ankles getting fat? It’s my stomach that
suppose to get fat. My mother told me the other day that I probable going
to poop on the deliver table. Will this every end?”

Tom stood up and started toward the kitchen.

“Where in the hell are you going? Jill said with a testy voice.

“I going to the kitchen to get some tea.”

“That great some more water to piss out or to retain in my ankles.
Make it peppermint I have gas you would not believe.”



“Yes dear peppermint it is.” To bad I can’t find any hemlock tea.
That wouldn’t be fair to the kid and she can’t help herself.” he said
to himself.

Jill is in the deliver room waiting to have her baby. Tom is there
holding her hand.

“ The contraction aren’t so bad. I told you I don't  need any drugs. Ouch
that was a good one.” Jill said as she squeeze Jim hand.

Several more time Jill yell after each contraction she squeeze Tom hand. Tom also yell.

“What in the hell are you yelling for? I’m the one having the baby.”

“You are squeezing my hand to tight.”

“I know you are the reason I’m in here.”

This in one of those Tom knew not to say anything.

“Give me the drugs just give me the damn drugs.”

“It to late. Even If we gave them to you now they wouldn't work.” the nurse said.

“ Is that my baby crying?”

“Yes it is” the nurse answer.

“I want to see it.”

“You have a girl. As soon as we clean her up you can see it.”

“You here that Tom it’s a girl.”

“Yes I did and from here she look healthy. Maybe we can think about going for a boy. “Ouch!” he yell as she squeeze his hand.

A nurse handed Jill the baby.

“Look at she just beautiful.”

“She sure is just like her mom.”

“You always know what to say.”

“Come on we going to look at that hand of yours.” the nurse said.

Later Tom came back in to the room.

“Sorry about your hand.” Jill said in a nice voice.

“Lucky it’s not the one that write all the checks. The case
will be on for four weeks.”

Throughout the years their daughter Sandy grew up to be the daughter
they wanted. Most of the time. There was the terrible 2, 3 and 4. The I’m 12
and no longer a child. I’m a adult and should be treated like one.
Lets not forget the boys. Yes the boys which her dad swore that she
just went out with to get back at him. Let not forget the Mother and
Daughter thing. Yes the Mother and Daughter thing.

One day Sandy come home after her second year of college. Jill open
the door there stood Cindy and a boy. He proudly show off his tattoos on
his arms by wearing short shelves shirts. His hair has two color. Longer
on side and with spikes. He drove a ego car. A car that got wash whenever
it rain.

Dad smile and though to himself. “Pay back time big pay back.” All Mon
could say was. “No, No, No.” Ever after she slam the door. “No, No, No.”

Three years later. Mon, Dad, Cindy and that boy Jim. Who clean up his act.
He cover his tattoos most of the time. He has a regular hair cut one color
and no spikes. His car get wash more often then when it rain. Their are at a restaurant celebrating Cindy and Jim one year anniversary.

Cindy stood up with a glass of mock champagne, bubbles no alcohol.
Mon and Day I just wanted you to know. We love you both especially
since you have welcome Jim into the family. We know that it wasn’t easy. But
you two did it and we love you both for it. I know this is a celebrate of our
first anniversary. Well hold onto something, you are going to be grandparent
times two.

Jill open her eyes and saw the grasshopper. She push it away. “Why take a
change?” Jill said.

“Now if some one would slide a bowl of Nachos and cheese my way I wouldn’t
complain. I going to get fat anyway so why not start now.”

The life and time of a pregnancy brought to you by Mother nature.