The wishes of a girl with no hope. |
It's winter again and the sun has gone away and like hands grasping for light that will never come the naked limbs of trees reach towards the sky My heart beats out a steady, deafening rhythm within my chest and it sounds like a bass drum within my head and it keeps me from sleep And like the coward that I am and have always been I let it carry on despite the tears in my eyes and the dissatisfaction and darkness rotting out a great big hole in my soul Caustic thoughts drift down and swirl in my lungs like dregs of smoke left behind from a train rushing by and I cannot catch my breath This bed where I lie for hours hasn't been made for days and it is cold like a corpse; It is cold like this body that I lie inside that hasn't been touched or explored or loved in too long And I've grown accustomed to the mountains and valleys and lonely winding roads that make it up But God I just wish someone would take the time to learn all of its dips and curves And I just wish someone would take the time to memorize the road map of marks and scars that reveal it to be well lived-in but not well loved And I wish my bed wasn't so cold And I wish that my heart wasn't so loud And I wish that I wasn't such an unmendable, unbearable thing stuck living alone in winter, always |