George's crazy adventure part 1

If you are reading this you should be HONOURED, for you are reading the first epic adventure in George's crazy life.

PART 1

George was walking down the street just like any normal day, if you call a freaky dude with a messed up family normal. (You probably don't.)
You see, George was a crazy kid with a crazy family who always went on crazy adventures. Today was one of those adventure days, he could smell it in his hamster. (told you he was crazy) But before I get into his adventure, let me tell you about George's family.
George's mom was a demented small rig trucker who stalks anyone who drives a truck that has an armchair or doritoes on it. Her lovely husband was a stay-at-home dad to George's hamster. George was 6 1/2 years old but he had ditched his parents at age 5.
Today was a warm summer day until George woke up and contaminated the world with his uglyness, then the whole world turned over and it became a chilly winter night. George stood up and wondered what his adventure would be today. Everything looked strangely... normal. The trees were normal, the grass was normal.
George was quickly hit in the back of the head with a potato.

He woke up in complete darkness, it was so dark it was hard to tell that he had opened his eyes, everything was silent.
Crrrrrreeeeeeaaaak. A door opened across the room and emitted light. Out from it stepped a giant potato. Now if George hadn't already peed his pants the potato made sure it would happen. "Hello George" Pppssssshhhhhhhhhhh. The potato didn't seem to notice, he just kept on talking " You humans have tortured our kind for too long, today we are going to have our revenge."
"Yea" said George. "I understand that, but why would you do it on a 6 year old who didn't know what a vegetable was until a couple months ago. You should do it on someone who likes potatoes, or someone who was in a potato eating contest, or at least someone from Idaho." "You have a good point, but you are the one standing in front of me, so I will have my revenge on you." "Well that's stupid." "Life's not fair bubba" quoted the potato. (Only the guy that said it probably didn't say bubba) The giant potato then pulled out a gun that looked like a potato and pulled the trigger. Puh-thunk. A potato was hurtling at George's head faster than a goat on steroids. Quickly he jumped out of the way and put his hand in his pocket. Seeing whatever had crawled in there when he was sleeping.His hand closed around something and without knowing what it was hucked it at the potato. It smacked the potato right in the eye. (Or where his eye would have been, he was a potato after all.) The thing he hucked turned out to be a rock, a small one too. Turns out the potato was actually pretty mushy. This gave George an idea.
Puh-thunk, another potato was heading at George, but this time instead of trying to dive out of the way, George stuck out his hand and blocked it. The potato dropped to the floor with a loud KLUNK. Swiftly George picked it up and chucked it at the potato's place where his face would have been. The potato smashed through his head and he fell to the floor and smashed himself even more.
George had saved the world yet again, this time from the potatoes of doom and despair.
The sad thing is nobody in the right mind would believe he had saved the world from a giant living potato.