NEED

I woke with blood on my hands.
Third time this week.
I said never again after the first time.
I guess my will is weak.

A week ago I was different,
Although I may have looked similar.
I couldn't stop once I'd started,
The new became the familiar.

A new familiar taste in my mouth,
Whose blood is it today?
Hot water will clean my body.
But the thoughts won't go away.

In a way, that's okay though,
I'm ashamed to admit.
I'm beginning to relish,
And get excited by it.

By 'It' I mean everything,
The stalking, the chase.
The lust, anticipation,
The warmth and the taste.

The taste is the best part,
It gets the blood flowing.
Exciting just to think about.
I need to get going.

I'm not going to fight it,
I have to accept what I am,
I'm the big bad wolf,
The world is my lamb.