We’ve
all heard of the child that is forced to grow up too fast because the
parents left or have to work all the time. Well, that was not me. But
I did find myself “growing up” a little faster than I
should have, and it all started in eighth grade. My best friend’s
dad had died in a car accident, the feeling of complete hopelessness
that filled me after I heard what had happened still fills me to this
day as I remember it. That morning I saw her she was overflowing with
joy because it was her 14th birthday, she had brought cupcakes to
share with everyone. But that was the last time I have seen her so
happy, so innocent. March 4th, the day she lost her childhood, the
day she lost her everything, and the day I lost my best friend.
Fast
forward to present time, we can still call each other best friends,
but those words don’t mean as much as they used to. We have
gone through a lot, I mean a lot. She went into a deep depression for
two years, but no one could tell her this because she wouldn’t
believe us if we tried. My life started to revolve around her, not
knowing if she was going to make it to morning. It gave me a sharp
sense of reality, and I think I am better off for that. I had to make
a commitment to being there for her even when times got rough. I
would be there anytime that she needed me, and I don’t mean to
say “need me” as to talk about it, I mean need to go to
the movies or just hang out because that was all she wanted. I tried
playing therapist for a while, she didn’t want a therapist, all
she wanted was a friend. So dedicated my life to be the friend she
needed. As time went on, we have gone our separate ways, we’ve
still stayed friends, but needed to breathe. But I think there’s
that unspoken truth that if she needed me or if I needed her we’d
be there in a heartbeat. You can’t go through something that
traumatic and walk away unscratched and totally unattached.
They
say “people come into your life for a reason”, and I do
believe that’s true. Helping her cope for the past five years
has been the very difficult and a long road, but I took it with her,
for her. It has made me who I am, and I would like to think of myself
as a pretty normal human being, with good intentions and a good self
of heart. All the tears and the heartache that came out of March 4th
could not have been looked at in any kind of good light, until now.
As I am writing these words. Of course there isn’t any real
good side to it but I see it as the world gaining two strong young
girls who needed each other to lean on to face the world and to
continue to face what the world had to bring. The friendship we have
today is different from what we had then, but we lift each other up,
we have made each other stronger people. I am pretty sure this is the
last year we have together. It’s bittersweet but I need to
start to grow and lift myself up. I am so excited to thrive and
succeed in life, starting with college. I plan to make new friends,
do new things that I wouldn’t have done before, and take new
paths that I was too scared to take because I focused on failure to
much. I am ready to recreate myself and define who I really am. It’s
a new beginning, a new story. She will always be a huge part in the
making of who I am but our chapter is over.
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