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Rated: 13+ · Other · Emotional · #2005659
A repetitive and empowering recollection of my life.
  I use to pretend I was the hero in every book and every movie. I use to pretend I was the only thing between life and death. I use to pretend that my world was real. But as I grew older I knew that my world would never become real; that I wasn't in control of life or death; that I wasn't the hero in everyone's world. So I began to write. In my stories my world is real. In my stories I am the hero that saves everyone. In my stories I am the only thing standing in between life and death. That's me. Only me. My life is mine. My stories are mine. This, no one can take away. This is me.
  Most would say I'm a coward, but really I'm just the person they want to be. I use to think that I was the dirt the said I was. I use to believe I was the floor they stepped on. Then I grew older. I realized I was more then they were. I realized that my emotions were meant something. I balled up my emotions for years, and still, to this day, I don't cry when I should. I won't show my emotions. They taught me that I'm only one person, and I can't change this world. I realized I can change people, though.
  Growing older changes everything. It changes people, it changes the way you think. I wish I'd known that earlier. Maybe then I'd still be...a kid. Childhood is amazing, is precious, is the only time you can goof of and still have a bright future ahead of you. But now, for me, there's no turning back. I've paid the price for growing up too early, I've been mature for too long. I can't turn back. I put myself into a position to where I can no longer mess up, and be forgiven as if I'm a child.
  I live in a world where I'm the only one that knows that you this world is cruel, and will swallow up every innocent child and will spit it out on a floor made of glass. This world will make sure you fall, make sure that when you fall you can't get back up. It will try so hard to eat you, to beat, and to kill you, kill you from the inside out.
  I was that kid that if I hadn't dug my way out, I wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be roaming this earth. I wouldn't be able to tell you your life is precious, and growing older changes everything. I hope you don't have to go through what I did, I hope you get to stay a kid, and immature for as long as you can. My life was hard, and I wouldn't wish it upon my worse enemy. I was changed forever because this world and the people in it chewed me up and spit me on a floor made of my worse nightmares. They caused me to believe I was worthless, that my emotions and dreams would never do anything to help this world.
.  If you get anything out what of what I've said let be to be a kid for as long as you can. Growing older changes everything. So, my advice to you, don't give up. Life is hard, yea, but you can power through anything and everything. I believe in you. I believe you can change this world no matter how brutal life is. One person at a time.
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