How to be a Vampire. Part One

How to be a Vampire

1.Don't tell your parents about the bite.....or who bit you:

It was midnight. Two hours after curfew for me. I sat outside the local cemetery on a date with the hottest girl in school.... we had three classes together. of course my parents had decided it would be better if I had went to night school....and thus everyone ridiculed me..... called me names like "Vampy", "Dracula", and even "Johnny Howlerson". The last was as close to my name as most people would ever get. I was excited to finally get a date with Stacy Kingston, but I was also wary..... could it be an elaborate prank?Oh, how they would cringe if they knew the truth about what happened on that date..... she started with just kissing me..... and worked her way to my neck. then I heard her whisper into my ear..... "I'm sorry, but I'm hungry...." as I was about to ask her a question, I felt cold, sharp teeth dig into my neck..... she drank my blood.....as I cursed myself for not seeing it sooner and of course cursed my luck..... the police tapped on my car window..... as they stitched me up they called my parents..... ten and a half hours later my parents asked me the question I was dreading......and part of me screamed "DON'T TELL THEM OR YOU'LL GO TO THE LOCAL NUTHOUSE!!!!!" so I did what it said..... and damned if it happened......fell down to the floor... Dead.

2. Crawling from the grave seems like a lot of work, but it's actually easier than you'd think! And you're gonna need blood if you want to stay alive......

I was dead for a full month before my vampire kicked in..... and I pushed myself out of the grave easily..... and guess who greeted me. The circle of Stacy's entire friends...... I always joked that they were soulless freaks, but I had never expected this...... they greeted me with contempt and a ritual commenced.... I would have told each of them to "fuck off" had I not been so thirsty my throat felt on fire.... one of them told me it was the blood-hunger and slit their wrist. as soon as the blood poured out I wrapped my mouth around the wound.... I let my fangs do all the work and when they passed out I gave them a kick to the crotch for good measure...... and did I mention that ALL of Stacy's friends were guys? No? Sorry......