Voice of the Daughter of a Narcissistic mother |
VOICE OF THE DAUGHTER I am the Unloved The Unlovable. I am the doubtable The un-floutable, The One not good enough, not ever.{{/font}/font} I wore my heart on my sleeve.. You smashed it Bashed it Whacked it, Smothered it. You were meant to show me love, but you taught me shame. You were meant to let me grow, but you just sent out: I was to blame for all the troubles in your life, for feeling trapped, }locked in strife. You never took responsibility for the pain you caused. Instead I thought it was me I was the one.. flawed. Floored by your anger, Your hate, your fear. You could cry, I wasn't allowed tears. Narcissistic Queen How cruel you could be. Rant, blame and shame at the top of your tree. You didn't know just How much you manipulated me. I knew you were wounded, hurting deep below But instead of owning it, You gave out the blows I was 1, 2 and 3, 4, 5 and 6 Under the spell of your tricks. 7, 8 and 9 and so it goes on. I am under your thumb. Hooked, line and sunk, nearly drowned in you sick, little games. No matter, the cause, I want to say STOP! I will not, any longer, be your puppet. I will not, any longer, believe all the lies. Or that I was to blame. A child who was innocent is shouting back, loudly saying NO, so that you hear. I know you were hurt as a child, But is didn't mean hurt me too. It was a chance for you to change the cycle of pain, and face the truth. So hooks I remove you I take a large step back. It's time for me now It's time to cry all the tears I suppressed again and again. It's time to release the pressure at last. To lift the weight from my soul. Every feeling let out now Will help me know I am not what you said I was. I am God's child ( as are you). Time to break the chain, To feel, To renew. So go from my door, Leave me be, for now. Give me space to breath Find out who I am. Free from the shadow, of childhood pain. When tears have flowed, my soul will gain, the chance to express Its beauty once more. To open my heart, Open the door to Love and joy, all the things I forgot. So now I say Stop, to your unloving behaviour, from future attacks. This girl, this woman is fighting back. Through anger, through fear, Through terrible grief. To shift my beliefs. Unlovable to Loveable Unloved to Loved @Maxine Bell 2014 |