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Rated: E · Poetry · Experience · #1999465
Voice of the Daughter of a Narcissistic mother
VOICE OF THE DAUGHTER

I am the Unloved
The Unlovable.
I am the doubtable
The un-floutable,
The One not good enough, not ever.{{/font}/font}
I wore my heart on my sleeve..

You smashed it
Bashed it
Whacked it,
Smothered it.
You were meant to show me love,
but you taught me shame.
You were meant to let me grow,
but you just sent out: I was to blame
for all the troubles in your life,
for feeling trapped,
}locked in strife.
You never took responsibility
for the pain you caused.
Instead I thought it was me
I was the one.. flawed.
Floored by your anger,
Your hate, your fear.
You could cry,
I wasn't allowed tears.
Narcissistic Queen
How cruel you could be.
Rant, blame and shame
at the top of your tree.
You didn't know just
How much you manipulated me.
I knew you were wounded,
hurting deep below
But instead of owning it,
You gave out the blows
I was 1, 2 and 3,
4, 5 and 6
Under the spell of your tricks.
7, 8 and 9 and so it goes on.
I am under your thumb.
Hooked, line and sunk,
nearly drowned in you sick, little games.
No matter, the cause, I want to say STOP!
I will not, any longer, be your puppet.
I will not, any longer,
believe all the lies.
Or that I was to blame.
A child who was innocent
is shouting back,
loudly saying NO, so that you hear.
I know you were hurt as a child,
But is didn't mean hurt me too.
It was a chance for you to
change the cycle of pain,
and face the truth.
So hooks I remove you
I take a large step back.
It's time for me now
It's time to cry all the tears
I suppressed again and again.
It's time to release the pressure at last.
To lift the weight from my soul.
Every feeling let out now
Will help me know
I am not what you said I was.
I am God's child ( as are you).
Time to break the chain,
To feel,
To renew.
So go from my door,
Leave me be, for now.
Give me space to breath
Find out who I am.
Free from the shadow,
of childhood pain.
When tears have flowed,
my soul will gain,
the chance to express
Its beauty once more.
To open my heart,
Open the door to
Love and joy, all the things I forgot.
So now I say Stop,
to your unloving behaviour,
from future attacks.
This girl, this woman
is fighting back.
Through anger, through fear,
Through terrible grief.
To shift my beliefs.
Unlovable to Loveable
Unloved to Loved

@Maxine Bell 2014
© Copyright 2014 MaxineJ (maxinej at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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