Just Stating the Obvious and other jokes

Deaf people can't listen to Justin Bieber (lucky them)
Minnesota is not the state that invented mini soda cans
3 out of 4 Americans make up 75% of the population
The clothes in China say "made around the corner"
The great wall of China is located in China
Females are at higher risk of pregnancy than males
2 tons of feathers weigh the same as 2 tons of gold
Yo mama so ugly she made One Direction go the other direction
Hitler killed Jews in WWII
Dogs are animals
Cats do not have nine lives
Being bored is boring
Dragonfly can fly but they aren't dragons
Snoop Dogg is not actually a dog
Love is made of four letters
B****es are called B****es because they are B****es
Bruno Mars is not from Mars
Birds are not horses
"Xbox" is spelled with an 'X'
A great way to get into Harvard is to open the door and go inside
You can't use Duracell batteries as toothpaste
Every animal in Australia has the ability to breathe
In Australia, potatoes don't have the right to vote
The people reading this will be dead in 250 years
Your nose knows nothing
Zombies were once human
Did you know? You can skydive without a parachute, but only once
In the year of 1994, a duck walked into a bar, the bartender said,"what'll it be?" The duck didn't say anything because it was a duck.
You're less likely to sell drugs than a drug dealer
Contrary to popular belief, when life gives you lemons, you cannot make lemonade. Water and sugar are two other essential ingredients
Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time
Chuck Norris uses a stunt double only during the crying scenes
first take your mothers age, then add 0 to that number, then subtract 0 from that number. That is your mothers age
Meth can destroy your teeth
You can't swim on land
The invention of the word... B(Top view) OO(Front view) b(side view) together it makes Boob
3/4 of Africans make up 75% of the population
In 1969, a British man enjoyed a cup of tea
Children in the backseat can cause accidents, Accidents in the backseat can cause children
Everyone has that friend that only comments when someone spells something wrong
Nicolas Cage's parents didn't cage him when he was a child
I was going to make a joke about sodium and hydrogen but NaH
There isn't any poo in shampoo
A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer. The husband puts,"Mypenis", and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says,"Error. Not long enough."
The "Like" and "Share" buttons on facebook do not cure cancer, feed starving kids, donate money to charity, or pray for a dead person
"I said I wanted a glass of Juice, not GAS THE JEWS!" -Adolf Hitler
you can't take pictures without a camera
USA is not the only country in the world
Dinosaurs can't speak english
Adolf Hitler was not a Zombie
You were born in one of the twelve months
a slice of cake contains cake
Scientists discovered that cookies don't change the weather
It's usually dark at night
Heavy Metal isn't really made of metal
Miley Cyrus doesn't fight in WWE
You can't use popcorn as toothpaste
Obama's last name isn't Romney
According to the worlds leading mathematicians, if you take your age and add 19 to it, that is your age in 19 years
In the year 1969 people didn't have huge Nikon cameras
Adolf Hitler never got pregnant
Miley is spelled backwords as Yelim and it does not mean anything
Cooking crystal meth does not make you a professional chef
If Bruno Mars catches a grenade, he will die
You can't use a sandwich as a printer
there are 52 cards in a deck
1000 years ago it was the year 1014
drinking red bull will not turn you into a red bull
photoshop is useless if your an idiot
"Lets not invade America but everywhere else", said no alien, ever
The Apple loge resembles an apple because the company's name is Apple
If you amputate your legs, they will not grow back
Ther is a company that gives jobs to people who have swag, "McDonalds"
The averae human body has enough bones to make an entire skeleton
If Chuck Norris catches you looking him up on google, he will smash your head into the keyboa.dasdkoawpod'sfdgdfg[p';/r
The only person who can shave 25 times a day is a barber