Script for my British Comedy |
Grange Hill Station Series 2 Episode 1 The hardest task ever part 1 The man from Grange Hill Station is standing in complete darkness. Grange Hill Station man: "So you lot thought you could come up to me with your silly catch phases well.. Take that you BITCH!!!" He pulls out a machine gun and I'm Afraid of Americans plays as he fires at Duck Man, Random nutters and the rest. Cut to Grange hill station man in bed with sweat pouring down his forehead. Grange hill station man: "Phew that was just a dream, I'd never kill someone as tempted as I can be, and Killing thoughts are inside thoughts only" Looks at clock on bedside table. Grange hill station man: "I suppose I better be up and dressed now as Tom will be arriving in 2 hours" 2 hours later The man from grange hill station is standing by the door talking to a high pitched woman who you can't see. High pitched woman: "I want you to spend as much time as you can with him but you must remember that he's not just your nephew but he's a very naughty boy" Grange hill station man: "Well, He'll behave with me as he has a lot of fun to look forward to, cheerio sis" A grumpy looking teenage boy walks in playing a DS Grange hill station man: "So Tom, It's nice to meet you after not seeing you since..Hmmmm...you were about four when I last met you hoho how time flies, you were such a lovely lad and here you are all grown up playing a gamecube" Tom: "It's not a Gamecube it's a DS, Gamecube's are old and shit" Grange hill station man: "Now Tom, I do not tolerate bad language now young good sir." Tom: "So, Don't care, I'm in the naughty block anyway. Grange hill station man: "Oh well come in the lounge for a chat about our first day's activity" Cut to them both in the lounge Grange hill station man: "So how about me and you go out partying in the Indie Disco tonight *Sings* In the indie disco yeah" Tom: "No I only party down raving clubs not your old man's sh.." Grange hill station man: "Well I don't like your type of music sadly.....Yes Bingo Dingo" Tom looks up playing DS still Grange hill station man: "We will go Bowling!!" Tom: "I hate bowling" Grange hill station man: "They've got a Wind Machine!!" Tom: "What's a wind machine" Grange hill station man: "You'll find out" Cuts to them at a bowling alley with the grange hill station man running to score Grange hill station man: "AAAAAAHHHHHHH, GOAL" Grange hill station man: "yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes...OH NO, unlucky it only hit one pin" Turns to tom who is still playing his DS, your turn. Tom picks up a ball and just drops it down on the floor with it barely hitting a pin. Grange hill station man: "I'm enjoying myself anyway" Cut to the wind machine scene. Wind machine starts Grange hill station man: "Ooohhh, It's like a big human Tornado I think?" The man from grange hill station stands in the wind machine for about one minute until he finally has enough, he goes to open the door but to find out the door is jammed. Grange hill station man: "Oh bugger, the door is jammed, Tom could you go call for security to get help please." Tom ignores him and carries on playing DS. Grange hill station man: "Help....Help.......Help help.......Help.....Help.......Help.......Help.......help! 3 hrs later. Security are helping him out of the machine and then he turns to thank them. Grange hill station man: "Now Tom, Did you ever care that your dear old uncle was trapped in that machine and could have in fact died in there?" Tom: "No, I don't care" Grange hill station man: "Well I think we better be off for a long walk round the canal don't you think" Cut to the docklands Tom is still playing his DS Grange hill station man: "I think I aught to check that game you playing as the sounds coming from the game, Dosen't sound very nice" He takes his DS off him and takes the game out. Tom: "GIVE THAT BACK" Grange hill station man: "Grand theft Automobile, This game is an 18 and you are 15, Well, yer not playing this game, now it has to go" He throws the game into a canal. Tom: "YOUR GONNA HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT" Grange hill station man: "Oooohhh, Sorry, I aint paying for that" Tom: "JUMP IN AND GET IT" Grange hill station man: "Hoho, Well I'm afraid I can't do that, there's all sort of fungus in there, nah, tell you what, we'll go back home and I'll put yer videos on for you" Tom: "JUMP IN AND GET IT NOW OR I'LL TELL EVERYONE THAT YOUR HURTING ME" Grange Hill Station Man: "Tom grow up now we'll go home and watch yer videos, We can watch Sooty, Fireman Sam and Mr Bean all together, How about that?" Tom: "I AINT TELLING YOU AGAIN, JUMP IN AND GET IT" Grange Hill Station Man: "Tom, You are starting to test my patience young sir" Tom: "HELP, HELP THIS MAN'S DOING SOMETHING INAPROPRIATE TO ME, AREEST HIM" Grange Hill Station Man: "Okay Tom, Shush now, Okay Here it goes" He holds onto his nose and slowly dips himself into the canal. He swims around and ducks under waters, eventually he find the game until a whistle is blown, a copper walks over and he gets busted. Cuts to the pair of them leaving the police station. Grange Hill Station Man: "Okay Thomas, Here's your game" Tom sticks the game in his DS and it dosen't work, He looks up at him with an annoyed face and the man from grange hill station looks worried. Tom: "BUY ME A NEW ONE" Grange Hill Station Man: "What's the magic word?" Tom: "BUY ME A NEW ONE NOW" Grange Hill Station Man: "Whatever floats his boat??" Cuts to the man from Grange Hill Station leaving GAME. Grange Hill Station Man: "Here you go sunshine" Tom: "I DON'T EVEN LIKE GRAND THEFT AUTOMOBILE ANYMORE IT'S GAY AND NOT VIOLENT ENOUGH" Grange Hill Station Man: *Whispers under his breathe* "Close yer eyes and count to ten....." LATER THAT NIGHT........ Cuts to the man from Grange Hill Station by his bedside looking red in the eyes then he bursts into tears. Cut to Credits. End of Episode |