LIGHTEN UP

LIGHTEN UP                                                            

         Winter has finally retreated. No longer do we need to bundle up in toques, scarves, parkas, mittens, and boots. We are free to expose our pasty-white selves to the sun and warm breezes. It's that time again. It's time to pack away the winter gear.                                                                                                    

         For too long, we have packed away the food, perhaps, indulged in one too many hot chocolates or cookies. Now we are over-insulated, bulging at our seams. We droop, we sag, we jiggle. Our love handles have morphed into muffin-tops. We're packing a few, ( not guns, or sticks of gum, or tissues, or even dollars), extra pounds.                              

         Spring is the time to unpack. Out come our shorts, capris, t-shirts, sundresses, and sandals. Out, too, comes the added winter weight. Our warm weather clothes are snug. We need to lighten more than our wardrobe.                                                                                                                        

         We need to get moving and disprove the old theory that " nothing ever goes away". Like the snow and ice, our extra pounds can also melt. A moment on the lips does not have to become a lifetime on the hips.          

         My motivation is that I can wear thongs again. Not the type that both separate and expose my cheeks, but the flip-flop footwear kind. I prefer skimpy and flirty on my feet: au naturel; no socks.My tootsies are probably the only body parts that have not expanded, so, yes, I can confidently wear my thongs. During the winter, my feet maintained their svelte shape lifting and clomping around in heavy snow boots.          

         I try to lighten my shape and my mood with a brisk walk every day. Unfortunately, mosquitoes and blackflies are attracted to my exertion. They salivate over the blood struggling to reach my tired muscles. They greedily take their pound of flesh.                                                  

         Wait a minute! If each mosquito and each blackfly really do take away one of my excess pounds, I'll be whittled into shape in no time! Able to consume more than their own body weights, I do envy their metabolisms. My efforts to swat, shoo, and slap these insects away is although aerobic, self-defeating and counter-productive.                              

         Another counter-calorie, ( think counter-terrorism), or calorie-counter measure is to dine al fresco. Pack a picnic lunch or dinner. Enjoy fresh air and feast your eyes on lovely scenery. Allow your senses to gorge themselves.                                                                                                    

         I'd recommend visiting Lake Bernard's waterfront Lion's Park. As you attempt to eat your carefully prepared meal, you will be swarmed by a gang of greedy ducks. As you were setting up, they quickly and quietly surrounded you. Their sheer numbers intimidate. Think of them as feathered calorie detectors, only too willing and determined to snatch the very food that has seduced you. They cannot be denied. I once had an impatient female duck nip my fingers as I was peeling an orange.                                                                                                                        

         There is an up-side to this blitz attack; no need to record calories. This will truly be " empty calories" or, if you prefer, zero calories. After all, you weren't able to get a bite in sideways. No consumption equals no caloric intake. This is a WIN-WIN scenario; temporarily sated birds and no chance for you to eat unhealthily, or otherwise. Who wants to waddle like those thieving ducks?                                                                      

          I should also mention the swooping seagulls that will whisk away anything edible. One opportunistic bird grabbed my bag of CHEETOS, and in his struggle to regain altitude he momentarily forgot about his foraging friends. In a blink of his eye, the treats were strewn on the ground and gobbled up. For his initiative, he was left holding an empty tattered plastic bag. My consumption of the cheesy morsels had been averted.                                                                                                              

         An attack by ravenous birds could also spur a positive spurt of aerobic exercise if you choose to actively, but futilely, chase them. Flailing arms, pumping legs, pounding heart, shouting, gasping for breath, perspiring; all conducive to the production of heat. Heat burns calories,(among other things). Remember the workout motto: " Feel the Burn"? All of this on an empty stomach will only intensify your loss. Revel in this spontaneity that famished fowl provide.                              

         Fortunately, there are less strenuous methods for weight-loss or weight-control. There are support groups with weekly meetings. Weigh-ins in which losses or gains are recorded. Members encourage each other with diet tips. After one such session, a band of local ladies wondered what to do when " all the usual had been done". Someone suggested, " Let's gossip!"                                                                      

         I respectfully offered that the gossiping should be shared before the weigh-in. Good gossip is heavy! What better way to lighten your load than to take that load off your chest. Unburden your soul. Tell the others what's weighing on your mind. Spill the beans or your guts. Why carry the weight of the world on your shoulders? Drop the baggage.          

         Parents have a unique advantage to weight-control. They jump to conclusions. They climb walls. They referee. They juggle. They survive on little sleep. They persevere.                                                                                

         That's what I think we should do, persevere. Our weight is not our master. Yes, our body images influence us, but they do not need to control us. Our overall health should prevail.                                                            

         I can still slip into my favourite revealing thongs and the earrings that I wore in high school. It's a start. But, seriously, don't we need to lighten up?

** NOTE: The lake and park I mention are situated in Sundridge, Ontario, CANADA

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