Meandering Down Nieto

    Lost without a clue, scattered always and sometimes brilliant thought, often nothing like that yet here i go again having to explain why I am this fucking stupid when we all know I'm intelligent enough to be rewarded with jobs and promotions that is later lost to irrational thinking only made worse by an attempt to cover the shame, with more lies to hide the pain of the embarrassment I feel let alone the guilit I wear it on my sleeve next to my heart that is all love and wants to help yet cries in broken sobs to people who no longer will take the time to care and I don't blame them because I know better I am an adult I am a man I am a father I am scared I am praying I am an addict I am medicated to deflect the enormous pressure I place on myself to not be this person who can't walk through a door yet knows its wide open....sorry to make you not want to be my friend or acknowledge me as your son no more do I go home sad to many ways I am numb to the now common place loss of iife that still lives just no longer calls me expects me to not hurt and cry no I'm not going to cry forever I get angry I take offense to it want the life you say I should be why can't you be Brady or Matt and the all the others that you must look at and wish silently they not I were your son. Damage done on both sides so love is condemned and relationship are left rotting like house where the poor people take there chances.


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