The Stars

    The stars.

The first time I ever heard about the star was when I was in my kindergarten learning the nursery rhymes.

"Twinkle, Twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are?"

Often I would look up in the sky and sing the song. I really wondered what it was? How could it be twinkling so beautifully? But it never occurred to me to ask anyone about it. How come we didn't see them in the morning was another one of my wonders.

One afternoon my friend and I was singing to the  Twinkle song, that was the first time I learned about stars from my little six year old friend, she said, "You know what stars are?"

"Yes" the five year old me had lied. I don't know why but I did.

"Okay then what is it?" She asked.

"Well you first" I said. She raised one of her eye brows, folding her arm and looking me in a peculiar way but said nothing.

"Go on, tell me?" I had persisted. I wanted to know what it really was.

"Well, my mom said stars are angels who look upon us, they twinkle because they wear those beautiful shinning gowns" she said. I was amazed and I instantly believed her.  I imagined beautiful fairies looking from above on us.

"Are they more beautiful than our Barbie?"  I asked more curious.

"Of course!"  She looked astounded, raising her brows again, "well my mom said fairies knows what every one of us does and if we are bad, then we can't be a fairy when we grow up." She nodded her head believing every word her mom had said.

I immediately remembered the cookie I had stolen in the morning. I felt exposed and knew the fairies would have noted me on their bad list. I felt bad, really bad.

"I stole a cookie this morning!" I confessed, hoping my friend would help me. But all she did was shook her head in disappointment.

"Well you are probably in the bad list then" She said, "You can never be a fairy."

The last sentence hit me so hard. I was so mad and so depressed at the thought that I could never be a fairy or get to wear those glittering gowns.

"Who wants to be a fairy!" I cried out at my friend and ran home with teary eyes.  I bet I must have cried for hours that day until my mom and dad had calmed me with an ice-cream. I could not tell them why I was so depressed because then I would have to tell them about the cookies I had stolen. I knew they would not just note me in the bad list but forever forbid me from eating cookies.

Though I now know that stars are nothing but galactic rocks that are miles away from us, a part me still believes those twinkling stars could not just be galactic rocks but someone looking upon us (with the good and bad list?). And I still wonder what you are?