Blood Ties- New beginnings

This is the second part of Serena's story- a work in progress. Below are the first 1000 words, there is something about it, I don't like, but can't put my finger on it, so any help would be much appreciated.





The crimson droplets swirled into the murky water, cleaning my pearly flesh, but nothing could purify my soul. The animal blood could only sustain me for so long, it would only be a matter of time before I made my first kill. The blood lust and barely contained rage thudded through my system, the urge to hunt was so strong.

The previous night I had nearly ended it all. The crude stake; a sharpened branch protruding from a tree, would have done the job for me. All I had to do was run at it, impaling my already dead body upon it. The true death. I could not bring myself to do it. Cowardice.

  My unfamiliar image reflected back at me, my hair wild, untamed, the red tinge around my iris  would not diminish, no matter how much animal blood I consumed. I wondered, absent-mindedly where the myth about vampires, having no reflection had come from. I was beginning to realise, a lot of what I had been taught about vampires was myth rather than fact. The knowledge I now possessed could aid the hunters to no end. Not that I would take the risk of contacting them again, they wouldn’t let me leave alive twice. The rage Willum had shown towards me still haunted my dreams; yes, vampires do dream.

It had taken a lot to work out what information I possessed was fiction. On day two I worked out I could not fly. My mind was delirious from lack of blood as I threw myself from the top of a great oak. The branches raked my skin as I fell, but I landed, crouched like a feline, and I watched in wonder as my scrapes healed before my eyes. Flying- a myth, Healing- not so much.  I also realised I had gained heightened senses, the world became crystal clear, I could identify the smallest imperfections on seemingly smooth pebbles, and watched with fascination, a spider build its web. I could smell my prey from miles away, and hear the beating of their hearts. I could also run at impossible speeds, this came with ease, stopping takes a while longer to master.

I hated the blood sucking monster I had become, but could not deny my pleasure in discovering these new abilities.

My days were spent discovering my new being and trying to avoid all aspects of civilization, I knew, given the chance, I would drain the first human I stumbled upon. I could have returned to Cardlow, I didn’t, I wouldn’t. He had broken my heart, shredded it into pieces. I had begun to realise this was his plan all along. He said he wanted to ‘send a message to the hunters’, this is what he meant. The only thing we fear more than death; becoming the un-dead. He had deliberately seduced me, gaining my trust, so that when the time came, he could feed me his blood, he probably hadn't meant for it to happen like it had. I imagine he wanted the pleasure of killing me himself and watching the transformation. Willum just happened to conveniently wield the knife. For a time after I had tried to convince myself that it was an accident, Cardlow thought Willum would stop before the knife reached me, these were delusions, brought about by my undeniable lust. How could I have been so foolish?

It was two weeks after my transformation that the call came. My head pounded, my eyes watered and my feet began to move of their own accord. I knew I had somewhere to go, there was no choice in the matter, my master was calling.

I took off at inhuman speed, leaping through the forest, narrowly avoiding trees. It all should have been a blur, but I could see everything, it would have been exhilarating if I wasn’t dreading my destination. I thought this day would come, but hoped against hope it wouldn’t. Why was he calling now? Hadn’t he humiliated me enough? My mind raced at the possibilities. Part of me also felt excitement at seeing Cardlow again, despite the hatred his dismissal caused, I still longed to be in his arms.

The caverns the vampires called home were just as I remembered them. Dark and dank, excluding all light, so they could stay awake during the day. I don’t know what I expected, someone to greet me maybe. But all was silent as I entered the main atrium.  Was this a trap? My final death would come swiftly against any other vampire; they were all so much older and stronger. 

‘What have we here? The slut has returned,’ the blond vampire, who had previously tried to kill me, sneered from the other side of the cavern.

‘I was summoned,’ I answered, as demurely as I could manage, I knew it would be foolish to pick a fight I couldn’t possibly win.

‘Oh, so Cardlow finally decided to call you in, it will be the true death for you, you're a means to an end.’ She laughed, a bitter high pitched sound. ‘You will find Cardlow down there-’ She pointed down a corridor to the left. I took my leave, never taking my eyes from her. Once a safe distance away, I relaxed, then tensed up once more recalled where I was heading and who to.

Cardlow looked as rugged as I remembered, he had such an arrogance and self -assurance that reeked of sex appeal. If my heart could still beat, it would be fluttering like mad. He sat in a broad back chair, resembling a king sat on the throne of his empire.

‘I had been waiting for you to return to me of your own free will, but got tired of waiting, I’m not a patient man Serena.’

‘Just get it over with, kill me and be done. I'm not in the mood to be toyed with,’ I tried to look as defiant as possible, but couldn’t control the wet sheen coating my eyes.