Shameless

Shameless

Sometimes I am ashamed to wear the color of my skin.
I look down at my own arms and wonder if I would be heard
If they looked like yours.
Would my voice be any more powerful
If it came from another face?
I flip through magazines
And television stations
And the reference section in the library
And all the words I see are white.
All the men--whose thoughts will shape the minds of my parents
And my brothers and sisters
And my children--
All those men were white
Just
Like
Me.
Because my skin is white, I cannot voice my thoughts on discrimination or segregation.
I am not allowed to state my opinion on inequality
Or express my feelings of injustice when someone is wronged.
They tell me it doesn't count because I don't have to face it
Myself.
They say my opinion is invalid because I never suffered
Like they did
And because the suffering of their people was caused
By my own.
I have faced inequality and partiality,
But because of my actions, not my race.
I do not need justice for myself--
I suckled it at my mother's breast
While you were drinking oppression from yours.
I am ashamed to wear the color of my skin
Because when you aren't accepted
To that school
Or that friend group
Or that job
Because the other applicant was white, all I can think is:
"That could have been me"
It could have been me who took your place
By no merit of my own
Except the body I was born in
That has been deemed of higher value
Than yours.
I can make choices you never will
Go places
Meet people
And seize opportunities
Because my race does not require justice.
But when I require justice not as a white person
But as a person
Because you are a person
(Even if we look different)
And we are the same
People take the defensive.
"What do you know?"
"You can never understand."
"It shouldn't even matter
To you."
Because I don't suffer, I am disallowed from caring about the suffering of others.
When I find prejudice in our shared world, I must remain silent
Because other voices are more worthy than mine
To bring it to others' attention.
I do not need justice.
I do not understand.
You have been fighting to be heard
So that people who think they are better than you
Will begin to treat you the same.
So that your recognition will not be that of your skin
But of yourself.
You have been fighting so that we will see the injustice and oppression and partiality.
I see it.
I see the pain you have suffered and the scars from how you have been wronged
(Though I will never understand it)
And I want the hatred to stop,
But nobody cares
Because my skin is white.
I do not require justice.
I don't need to be recognized for my humanity
And have it be called selflessness or righteousness or tolerance.
(Sometimes they call it guilt and pity.)
I do not need to be heard.
But you need to know
You have been heard.
I hear you and I hate the words.
I want your pain to stop and I want you to know
That I know what has been done in the past was wrong
And what is being done now is wrong
And what I could do in the future will only be right
Because the injustice stops with me.
You have not won the war.
I know that, that you are still fighting and I change nothing,
But out of all the battles against all the enemies, you have won this one.
I am no longer your enemy.
They won't listen if I fight
Because I do not understand
But only if I fight alone.
I will join you--
Join the millions of voices crying for justice.
I do not need to be heard
For you will be.
And suddenly, I am not quite as ashamed.
I know that I will never understand
But I know that I don't have to--
Not anymore.
But there are others who carry the shame
Of pale skin
Or blue eyes.
There are people who have been born to a race or gender or sexuality or religion
Who also see injustice perpetrated by others just like them
And hate it
And feel ashamed.
They have heard, and nobody hears them.
One day they will learn that all they need
Is to stop shouting alone.
In a chorus of a million voices
A single shout is indiscernible
But the chorus is only discernible because of a million single voices.
So shout loudly
And live justly
And know not only the enemy
But the ally--the friend--as well.
Be human.
Be powerful.
Be shameless.