Waking Up From The Nightmare

(Bella’s Point of View)

Oddly enough, this is not exactly how I pictured life after death; darkness and pain. Pain I get if this is indeed hell, but why would I be left in nothing but a vast darkness with no hope of illumination from what I could see? Perhaps that is part of Hell as well; the absence of hope. But then again, why would I be in hell in the first place? I know that my life had been hell on earth, but what did I ever do to deserve to be trapped in a literal hell?

Oh my god, my head felt like it was going to explode. Of course I have felt pain in my life, but never have I experienced something that compares to this.

I tried to open my eyes to see what hell looks like, but they felt so heavy. Okay that is weird, feeling sleepy in hell, but then again, who am I to judge what is sane or not for hell? My whole body hurts. I feel like I've been hit by a bus, trampled by an elephant, only to be thrown off a cliff.

My eyes started to feel lighter as I kept trying to open them. I finally forced my eyes open and started to examine my surroundings. Oh, great, a hospital…but how did I get here? Let's see… I was in my room doing homework when he came home in a bad mood…he kicked my door open… oh, now I remember. But how did I get here? I remember the sirens and someone speaking to me. Is that how I ended up here? Had someone finally been able to stop him?

As I was thinking about what had happened, there was a knock on the door. My heart began to race as I panicked about who could be on the other side of the door. This would have to be the cruelest thing that he has done to me; allowing me to hope for a chance to get away from him and then rip it out from under me.

The door slowly opened, and this stunningly beautiful man came through the door. He had short golden hair, pale skin, amazing features, and the most beautiful butterscotch eyes. He was so graceful that it definitely made me wonder how he was able to walk as if he was almost floating. Something about him made me automatically like him and that didn’t happen very often at all. Of course it wasn't the coat that obviously showed that he was a doctor, but compassion seemed to ooze off of him and it made me feel nothing but absolutely comfortable here even despite the current circumstances.

"How are you feeling Miss Swan?" His voice caught me off-guard. It was so beautiful and almost musical at the same time.

I hope I hadn't been rude in staring at him but there was just something about him that I couldn't quite place. I tried to think of something to say but all that my mind could muster was one word.

"Fine" was my ingenious answer.

"Well Isabella…" I flinched as he said my full name. I hope he didn't catch it and he seemed not to, but even if he did, he didn't acknowledge it. "You seem to have had received some injuries lately. But you also seem to have been very lucky at the same time."

I almost wanted to laugh. Luck wasn't always good and it seemed that bad luck always haunted me wherever I was. I tried to offer him a small smile to keep my thoughts off of my face but I cringed when even the slightest movement of my face left me in pain. I winced as the pain began to increase.

What all happened with my step-father was still kind of a blur, but I didn't remember any reason why my face would hurt. I just remember him cutting my arms, but then again I did pass out before help came. Who knows what all that monster had accomplished in that short time? I lifted my hand to examine where the pain was coming from and gasped as I felt bandages over the right side of my face. I could only imagine what was left underneath them. I'm sure that scars were now located on my face and with my luck would stick with me from now on.

Even though I hated to cry because it made me weak, I couldn't help myself as tears started to fall down my face, soaking the bandages on its way down and falling onto my gown. As soon as the first tear fell, the doctor came to my side and attempted to offer me a hug which I gladly accepted. Even though the hug was somewhat awkward with my current injuries it was very sweet none-the-less. I don't know how long we stayed like that, but I was grateful for his patience and understanding. He seemed to know that I needed some comfort and was more than willing to give it to me.

Finally, as my tears slowed, and my sobbing quieted, I pulled back and tried to offer a smile to him even though it killed me in the process. He smiled back with a look of understanding in his eyes. I didn't know what caused it, but I automatically trusted this man. He seemed to be more genuine than any other person I have ever met.

He grabbed the chart that had been forgotten on the end of my bed and looked back at me before opening it.

"Well, Isabella...", again another wince on my part.Maybe I could just correct him now and then it would be easier for me.

"Bella, please call me Bella" I said softly as I looked down at the blanket that covered my body.

"Well, Bella, I am Dr. Cullen. It seems as though while most of your injuries are only minor, you have also obtained some that will take a while to heal. Would you mind me asking if you remember what happened?"

He asked with such sincerity that he sounded like he actually cared about me. Either he was genuine or he was a great actor. For the first time in a long time, I believed the former.

What should I tell him though? The truth? No, I couldn't possibly do that because what if that monster or my mother found out? I can already imagine the ramifications of that one. I wouldn’t be safe if the truth came out. I looked around my room and realized where I was. I realized how close to death I had come. I moved a little in nervousness and felt the pain that my body was it. My entire body hurt. I didn’t want to deal with that anymore. In that moment I finally realized what I had needed to do all these years; I needed to speak up.

I knew that if I went through this again, I wouldn't survive so I should just be honest and let the chips fall where they may. After deciding that I needed to do what I could to protect myself, I decided to be honest.

"Well,” I began, “I don't remember everything but I do remember some. I was in my room doing my homework when he came home really mad. He was shouting and throwing things. I locked my door hoping that it might help me but it was a false hope. I knew from experience that nothing would stop his anger. He was yelling for me, but I pretended to be sleeping and not able to hear him. It was stupid, I know, but I didn't know what else to do."

The next part came to me in a flash as if I was seeing it all over again. I had to take in a few deep breaths before I could continue.

"He kicked the door open and he threw my blanket off of me. He grabbed my arm and threw me across the room. When I couldn't get away from him, he hit me and I remember a lot of pain all over my body and then I started to feel really dizzy and finally passed out. I'm sorry but that's all I remember.” I looked down to avoid his eyes because I didn't know what I would find.

He seemed to be thinking over everything that I had told him. I finally looked up to his eyes and could have sworn I saw a glint of anger pass through them before it disappeared and he looked at me with a certain sadness before he spoke to me again.

"Bella, you have been through a lot. You are a very strong young woman and I am very sorry that you have had to go through all of this. There is no way that you had deserved anything that man had done to you, but I want you to know that you are safe now. He will never hurt you again, I promise you that. I am curious about a few things though. You seem to have previous injuries, has this happened before?"

I could only nod because I couldn't speak for fear of breaking down again.

"And your left leg, I noticed signs of paralysis, how did that happen?"

I took a few deep breaths to calm me, and I found my voice. There seemed to be no reason why I couldn't tell him the truth. He seems very trustworthy despite only knowing him for an hour or so.

Well, here goes nothing. "When I was eleven, I was in a car accident that paralyzed my left leg and shattered my pelvis. I was in a coma for four days and healing in the hospital for a year or so.”

I looked around for the crutches that have become a constant companion to me over the years since I couldn’t move around without them, but couldn't find them. I began to panic a little because I was helpless without them but Dr. Cullen, sensing my distress, told me that they'd order some more for me and not to worry about anything.

I was starting to feel exhausted from everything so Dr. Cullen told me that he'd come back and see me once I woke up. He told me to call if I needed anything at all and that he would send the nurse in with some pain medication so I could sleep easily. With each moment that passed, I could feel my eyes starting to close a bit more. Finally, sleep claimed me, but for the first time, I wasn't afraid of what would be there when I woke up.

In my dream, I was sitting on my bed looking out of the window. The sun was setting and beautiful rays of orange and pink floated in through my window. My skin glowed in the mixture of light and darkness. I have always loved the way that sunsets looked.

In the distance I could hear the rustling of leaves but paid no mind to it as I heard my door open. There he was with that evil grin on his face; the face I have come to associate with my own personal devil. That's what he was really - the ruler of my hell who could do as he wished with me because I couldn't overpower his strength. I could tell that he had been drinking because his eyes were glazed over and he was stumbling about my room. My heart started to race with each step that brought him closer to me. His grin seemed to grow as I started to move backwards on the bed.

There was really nowhere I could go without him catching me so I decided to just stay still and wish for it to be over with. His laugh echoed throughout my small room and sounded terrifying as it reached my ears.

As he leaned down on the bed, I cringed as he whispered in my ear, "I can do anything I want with you. You're my own personal toy and there is nothing you can do about it."

Of course I knew he was right. What could I do when I could barely even walk? I tried to close my eyes, but they flew open when his hand collided with my ribs and left me breathless. Apparently he wanted me awake for this.

My skin crawled as his breath hit it. I knew what was on his mind but I was hoping that I was wrong. He came closer to me and lowered himself down on top of me. I knew what he must be thinking to do so all I could do is force myself into a new place; one where he didn't exist. As I was readying myself for his torture, a growl sounded from just somewhere outside my door. I had no idea where these growls were coming from, but there was something oddly comforting in them. I looked over and saw nothing but a blur as something threw him from my body. Something grabbed me and I started screaming, but I heard a soft voice over my screams.

"Bella… Bella, it's okay. You're okay, open your eyes please. It's okay".

I woke with a start. The soft voice that I heard in my dream was coming from a very beautiful woman. She looked very similar to Dr. Cullen. She had a heart-shaped face with the most beautiful caramel colored hair. Her eyes were a tint similar to Dr. Cullen's, and something about her seemed comforting.

She looked at me with something similar to awe and love, but I couldn't be certain what prompted that emotion or even why she was here to begin with. She must have seen the confusion on my face because she came to sit on the bed and grabbed my hands in hers. Her hands were cold, but the comfort that she provided overrode any reaction to them.

Her voice was just as beautiful as her appearance. "Hello Bella. I'm sure you're wondering who I am and why I am here. My name is Esme, and I am Dr. Cullen's wife. He thought you might like some company when you woke up so he asked me if I would sit in here until you opened up your eyes. I hope that is alright with you. I understand if you would rather me not be here,” she said apologetically.

I had no words for all of the compassion these two people have showed me. Dr. Cullen was not only considerate toward me, but he brought his wife down here to watch over me so I wouldn't be alone when I woke up.

I gave her a genuine smile. I couldn't help but smile when I looked at her. She looked quite lovely and she had an odd resemblance to my mother. Not her like she is now, of course, but how she used to be before she remarried, before she found that man, when she was just my mother. Our life was very nice back then. I was actually happy. It's a bit pathetic that I haven't had any kind of happiness in such a long time that I don't even know if it's possible for me to find it again.

Esme was the quiet type but it wasn't an awkward silence. Tears found their way to my eyes again and I began to cry like a baby. I don’t know what triggered it but I guess it was thinking of the way my mother and I used to be. Yes, that would break anyone I suppose.

I lay in the bed without control of my tears and Esme held onto my hand while rubbing soothing circles into the back of it. Once I calmed down enough to be able to speak I realized that she must think I'm crazy or something.

"I'm sorry Mrs. Cullen, I don't know what came over me but I appreciate your patience with me. Thank you for being here." I offered her a smile as blush crept up my cheeks. I have always hated how my blush betrays me and makes me look like a tomato.

She smiled back at me. I finally noticed how perfect her face was. It had perfect angles and the most beautiful color of skin. Many people would think her too pale, but I found it a gorgeous color.

We sat in a comfortable silence for a little while longer until a nurse came in to check my IVs and give me some more pain medication. After she left, Esme broke our silence.

"Dear, please call me Esme. Dr. Cullen should be in around seven. You should really try to get some rest right now. I would love to stay with you while you rest if you would like me to. Please never feel wary of me. I will do anything I can to make sure you are comfortable."

Again I felt like crying. She will never know how her words comforted my heart. For the first time, I actually believed that someone could care about me. As I looked into her eyes, I saw nothing but love. I'm not sure why, but I knew in that moment that I wanted to find someone who would show me that love. I wanted to be happy.

Rest. That did sound like a good idea. I didn't trust my voice right now so I just smiled up at her and nodded my head. She helped me get comfortable in my bed and she turned the light down. She went over to the chair and sat down while pulling out a book to read. I turned my head to hide my smile. For the first time in a long time, I knew it was going to be okay. I knew that I was going to be okay and I will do anything I need to in order to find that happiness that I have longed for.