2:17am

2:17am

         The flashing light from the ambulance is woke the teenage rebel. The bright light filled his room, revealing the band posters that hung on the walls of his room and the many stickers on his drawers. An acoustic guitar sat on the corner of his room, next to a small TV that had been left on but with nothing playing. There were clothes everywhere on the floor; some were clean, most were probably used and ready for laundry.

His phone was stuck to his cheek as he lifted his head to peer out the window to see the commotion. The ambulance was parked across the street, between the Naftel's and the Morgan's houses. It was probably James and his asthma, he thought.

         A yawn escaped from the teenager and he rubbed at his eyes to check the time on his phone. Instead, he saw the time stamps of the texts that were left from Ellie.

         

12:39am: I don't think it's anything serious... My mom said he's leaving tomorrow.

12:39am: Stop worrying so much

1:20am: Are u still awake?

1:24am: My parents are fighting again... I wish u were here with me

1:40am: Missed call from Ellie

1:41am: Missed call from Ellie

1:41am: Missed call from Ellie

1:44am: New voicemail from Ellie

1:59am: Andrew I really need to hear from u... It's getting bad again and my hands are shaking and I don't know what to do please wake up

2:17am: I'm so sorry Andrew...please forgive--



Andrew quickly closed the text and tried to call her but there was no response. "Hi! Sorry I couldn't get your call. Leave your name and number and I'll call back when I'm free," "don't call again," Andrew's voice can be heard in the background as Ellie giggled softly, "leave me a message if it's important!" her voice said gingerly. Andrew cancelled the call and tried several more times until he finally decided to check up on her.

The teenager quickly grabbed any pair of jeans he could get his hands on and quickly got into them. He then got into his sneakers and threw a sweater over his head and grabbed his keys and phone. As he made his way downstairs saw his father lying down on the couch with a few beer cans beside him. Andrew shook his head and threw his hood over his head as he unlocked the door and darted across the lawn.

Just as he got onto the street the ambulance began to drive away, revealing the squad car in Ellie's driveway, parked behind the small silver car her mother drove. Andrew's heart began to race as he approached his girlfriend's house. Inside of the car, Ellie's father sat in the backseat with handcuffs. Before Andrew was able to reach for the doorknob, Judy, Ellie's mother, could be heard sobbing from the other side. The door then opened and two cops proceeded to their vehicle.

Judy was sighting on the stairs beside the door in her nightgown and didn't catch sight of Andrew until he entered the home. His legs felt so weak that he thought he'd collapse before he can take the third step inside. He looked up the staircase and his heart was either racing so fast that he couldn't feel it, or it wasn't beating at all. Hesitating to go upstairs to find Ellie, he finally collapsed on the stairs beside Judy. Though she wasn't fond of him, he threw his arm over her and tried to fight back the tears that wanted to escape.

The sound of Ellie's mother crying brought a physical pain to Andrew as he sat beside her, staring into the living room where he spent most of his days with Ellie. He can remember the days they'd sit on the sofa, watching marathons of their favorite TV shows or movies. The pain he felt intensified as he remembered her smile. The same smile that always formed slowly on her face after he kissed her, or did something in attempt to impress her. The smile, after he promised everything would be okay countless times over the years.

But it's over. A soft chime could be heard from the longcase clock in the living room and Andrew saw that it was 3am.



Andrew sat on his bed when he returned from Ellie's house. He sat there for hours until the sun finally rose. The beams of sunlight poured into his dark room, hitting the pinned photos of Ellie and him on the wall. His favorite one, the one that sat on his bedside, was of them when they were fifteen, sitting on the porch of Ellie's house. He reached for it and stared at the photo for some time.

This time there weren't any tears to fight back. Just the emptiness in his chest that left his mind repeating Ellie's name and the memories he treasured most. His hands began to tremble and his breathing became heavier. He closed his eyes and held the photo to his chest as he collapsed on his bed.



Two days have passed and Andrew was still in bed. His phone went off numerous times, and each time he checked it, he threw it back down after seeing it wasn't from Ellie. They were all text messages from his friends saying the same thing: "I'm sorry" and "I'm here for you if anything."

But most of them will never understand the pain he's enduring. Not until they've lost what he's lost. They will never be able to say the right things, because, there's nothing he wants to hear. Saying sorry won't bring Ellie back. Apologizing for her death won't bring her back. Nothing anyone can say or do can sooth the hollowness in his chest.

His phone went off again. Fed up with reading the same thing over and over, he picked it up to turn it off; but stopped when he saw it was Ellie's mother, Judy, calling.

"Hello?" it took a moment for Andrew to say. His own voice was unfamiliar even to himself. It was the first word he had said in days.

Judy, too, took a moment before speaking in an unfamiliar and cracked voice. "Hello, Andrew" she started, but then paused. "Ellie's funeral is today. If you'd like to come--" Andrew could tell she was crying again. He couldn't imagine the pain she was going through, nor could he compare his hurt to hers. "I'm leaving in two hours. If you'd like to come, you can come with me."

Andrew looked at the photos on his bedside and his heart began to race. He thought about it quickly and finally decided. "I'll be over soon."

"Great," Judy said, but not in a sarcastic way she had always said it before when Ellie told her mother she'd hang out with him, while they were on the phone together. "I'll wait for you then."

"Okay" Andrew said quietly. She hung up quickly and he finally sat up from his bed.

He had two hours to get ready.



It started raining lightly when they got into the car. Judy remained quiet the whole ride to the funeral, until they had parked in the parking lot. She pulled off the shades she wore that masked her ruined makeup because of her tears.

"I know I didn't make it easy over the years you two have been together," she started to Andrew's surprise. He looked for a reason to look away from her because all he could see instead was Ellie sitting beside him. "I know I treated you unfairly and at some points have disrespected you," she continued, "but it was all for my baby girl. Her father--"

"Mrs. Morgan, please," Andrew said quietly, in hopes she didn't continue.

"She didn't have an easy life until we moved to that house. Even then, but you made it easier for her. I knew she really cared about you, and I just want to apologize--"

"Mrs. Morgan!" Andrew shouted, "Stop!" The car became so quiet that you could hear every single drop of rain hit the surface of the roof.

Judy began crying again and Andrew continued to look out the window, pretending he wasn't there. Trying to pretend she wasn't there, sitting next to him. But nothing worked. He was miles away from home, where he can hide from the world peacefully. Now he must face Ellie one more time to say goodbye.

Andrew unbuckled his seatbelt and threw his arms around Judy as he did the night Ellie left them. This time, Judy wrapped her arms around him too.

"I'm sorry," he whispered softly. "I know it's not what you want to hear because it's not what I want to hear either. But it's all I could say. It's all anyone can ever say."

She continued to cry for some time as Andrew held her just as he held her daughter. Ellie used to say "it's as if every problem I've ever had, vanished" when he held her.



There were many familiar faces at the funeral. All around the casket stood classmates, teachers, Ellie's family and even some other people from around town. After she was buried, people began to leave one by one after condoling with Judy. Very few approached Andrew, but he wished they hadn't.

Eventually it was only Judy and Andrew left by the grave. Andrew pulled a frame that had several photos of Ellie and him and looked to Judy for approval. After nodding her head, he placed it down by the tombstone.

After some time had passed they returned the car. It was quiet again when they were heading back, but Andrew didn't mind it. Judy pulled into her driveway and parked the car. She didn't unbuckle her seatbelt as fast as Andrew did, which made him stay in the car.

"Thank you," Andrew said easily, "for calling and inviting me to go."

Judy remained quiet with her hands on her laps. Finally, she sighed and nodded her head. "You're welcome. Thank you, for everything." Andrew nodded his head, hugged Judy once more and headed home.



Upon entering his home, Andrew found his father lying on the couch again with more beer cans at his side. He looked at his watch and saw that it was only 7:39pm. The TV in the living room had the news on and all the lights were off. He climbed up the steps and started tearing away at his clothes as he walked to his room.

Again, he found himself in his dark room, lying quietly on his bed. He could no longer look across the street to see Ellie on her bed, reading her favorite novel or tidying up her room. There were more text messages coming from his friends, asking if he wanted to hang out and if he was okay. It was then that he realized he had still had a new voicemail--remembering that Ellie had left him one. After punching in his passcode, he sat still eagerly waiting for the older voicemails to finish.

"Andrew? Please wake up," in the background, Ellie's parents can be heard arguing while things were being broken. "I wish I could just leave and stay with you already. I'm going to keep trying to text you. Love you." He immediately picked up the sadness in her voice and the fear that had always claimed her when her parents argued.

Guilt began to consume him as he thought about what could have happened if he woke up. If he were awake, talking to her, she would have still been alive--with him. His hands shook terribly as the tears came back, fighting his will to keep them back. But he couldn't control it.

He got up from his bed and began to punch the walls until his knuckles bled. But it wasn't enough. He threw over the small drawer by his bed and started to tear away at the drawers. Crazed with hatred for himself and the guilt now resting on his mind, he continued the destruction in his room. He went over to the guitar sitting on the corner of his room and smashed it against his TV and closet door. The troubled teenager then clawed at the wall beside his bed, trying to collect every photo of Ellie, every letter she has ever written to him, everything she had ever given him, and placed it all in a small shoebox.

The guilt that slowly consumed him caused him to have a mental breakdown. He began to remember every time he promised her that everything would be okay, and how he would, one day, take her away from her troubled home.

Andrew's phone went off and his heart began to race as he heard the familiar ringtone he had set for Ellie. It was a text message that was sent from her phone.



2:17am: I'm so sorry Andrew... please forgive me for not being strong enough to stay with you. I know we promised each other to stay strong but I've broken that promise. I cut too deep this time and I'm afraid it won't be long until...that. Please Andrew, be strong, for me? I love you so much.



This time Andrew really cried. He was sobbing inhumanely on the floor beside his bed as he held his favorite photo very tightly. The only thing he could do now is keep his promise and wait out the pain.

He flipped his phone open once more and dialed Ellie's number. It went straight to her voicemail and he heard her voice once more.