The Horrible Holidays

Christmas joy is here.
What are you concealing?
Do I have anything to fear?
I can’t shake this feeling.

Christmas day has gone.
You never truly joined us;
you were too withdrawn.
On your phone, you obsess.

With you I share my thoughts.
Of course, you say I’m wrong;
I’m tying myself in knots.
Only to me do you belong!

New Years Eve has come.
We share a kiss and that is all;
you are busy texting a new chum.
Never have I seen this wall.

I ended the year working,
to build a home for you and I.
All the while you sat smirking
at the messages you get in reply.

New Years Day has arrived.
I get married this year!
To the greatest man that lived.
Yet, as it is I do not cheer.

You leave your phone unguarded;
a shower of kisses not saved for me.
My thoughts and feelings are discarded;
it is ridiculous, is your plea.

I look again, to check my sanity.
Maybe I was wrong, maybe I’m mad;
I’m displaying paranoia and profanity.
How can accuse you of things so bad?

My instincts are always correct.
You made me doubt; trust betrayed.
What happened to your respect?
My confidence has decayed.

You see no harm as it was just talk.
But black and white is just enough.
My heart sits in utter shock;
There, I thought we were tough.

As the realisation of truth sinks in,
the real you leaks out and cries.
I long to reach out but anger within
can only just look into your eyes.

I am unsure how long it will be
until I forgive and hold you to me.