Glimpse

I'm staring down the barrel of a tunnel of glass
Knowing with each hit that it could be my last
But do I stop? Do I put it down and let go
Do I walk away from the pain it causes me so
Each time I pick it up is like russian roulette
Another nail in my coffin which I tend to forget
With that barrel in my mouth I pull the trigger with ease
And with a flash of smoke there I go I'm weak in the knees
Day after day I fail no matter how hard I try
Some may even say I'mtrying to commit suicide
But my weapon of choice isn't pills or a blade
It's a little bag of powder which for my life I will trade
No matter what I do it's just too hard to resist
Cause without it I feel so empty like I just don't exist
Every time I try to sleep I awake with a scream
Not even sure anymore what is real or a dream
It all blends together as day turns to night
And I know in my heart that I'm not alright
But what can I do cause I don't have a choice
The drug has taken my mind my will and my voice
I reach out for help but I find no one is there
For I have run off anyone who has cared
No matter how it hurts it's still something I crave
Even though it's killing me I got one foot in the grave
I close my eyes and scream why did I ever start
As the shadows close around me with the last beat of my heart...
With a jerk my eyes open and I'm myself again
And I look across the table at my supposed friend
It's more than drugs you're offering might as well be a gun
Cuz I just saw a glimpse of what I could become
So no thanks now leave I don't need a friend like you
Cause life's enough of a gamble on it's own it's true