Were you Drinking

This year Santa had a wonderful idea to bring families closer together. He had noticed just too much fighting throughout the year. He gave everyone just what they wanted, but this year there was a twist. Not one gift was tagged. Each member of the family had to open the gift to see what was wrapped.  Then they were expected to give the gift to who had asked for it.

Sally opened a work boots. Dad opened a toy fire truck. Brother opened a red see-through teddy, and the baby opened a nail gun.

December 26, Santa begins to open up some of his thank you notes. Then he got to one large yellow envelope. It was decorated in what looked like red ink peddles. Then Santa unfolded the paper.

Dear Santa,

Thank you for my pink bracelet. All my classmates think it matches my facial hair, and my girlfriend thinks it is prettier than her new hunting knife. The nurse commented on it while the ER doctor removed all those painful nails from my butt.

I have one question for you, Santa. “Were you drinking?”

Next year give me those dentures that grandmother should have gotten this Christmas.

Yours

Buddy

Then Santa dropped the paper realizing that the red ink was blood.