The Gentile Giant

I have never seen
A wreath so green
As the one hung upon my door
With ribbons that shine
And berries so fine
For the neighborhood to adore

Oh won’t they’ll be jealous
And probably tell us
That we win the grand prize this year
They’ll have to consider
All that shiny glitter
That brings to their eye a tear

And say have you heard
Of the four collie bird
We added this year to the lawn
They’re connected to lights
And squawk all the night
And turn themselves off at dawn

And so now in closing
Don’t consider it losing
That we do Christmas better than you
I guess the real reason
We win every season
Is that all of our neighbors are Jews