Angel

Sarika could not hold back her tears. Tarun had ripped her heart apart just then. She could do nothing except replaying the terrible incident over and over again in her mind.

He had called her that morning to meet him at the People’s park. She had been very happy because it had been a month since she had seen him. Gleefully, she had gone there ten minutes early and sat at their favourite spot, under a secluded Flame of the Forest tree. But she had to wait for half an hour to see him. Though her spirits were slightly dampened, the sight of him cheered her up. But then, he simply came, he saw her and he left her, forever. The only reason - he was engaged and would be getting married in December. That’s that. No questions, no negotiations, no nothing.

Sarika wilted to the ground just like how the red flowers of the Mayflower trees around her fell. She felt as if her heart had been crumpled and trampled upon like those dead leaves on the walking track in the park. She sat leaning against the tree trunk of the Mayflower. Tears were slow at first, out of shock. A while later she began weeping. She wanted to tear at her hair, stomp around, kick the leaves and howl loudly in agony. But she did not do anything of that sort and went on silently weeping, holding her head in her hands.

She got so lost in her sorrow that she could neither hear the footsteps nearing her, nor the rustle of the leaves. However, she heard a soft voice calling her name. Somehow, controlling herself she looked up, squinting against the sunlight. It was a familiar face. She wiped the tears from her eyes to see more clearly.
It was Aryan, her colleague, who sat two desks away from hers. She did not know him very well. Just that he was a new employee.

“Sarika, Sarika, are you okay?” he asked, crouching in front of her.

Sarika could not reply immediately. She felt choked. Aryan was looking at her with so much concern in his eyes that she wanted to cry again.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, looking away.

“Jogging. I jog here daily.”

Sarika expected him to ask her the same question. But he did not. So she just gave him a small smile in acknowledgement. Sarika was trained in showing manners no matter what kind situation she was in.

“This is the first time I’m seeing you here. Do you live close by?” he asked.

Sarika nodded. “15 minute walk away”

“Oh I never knew that. I live here, just behind the park”.

“Okay” Sarika smiled.

“You know, you look good when you smile,” he said.

Sarika became serious. What did this guy know about how she felt now? How can he expect her to smile even in this condition? Why can’t he just leave her alone and go on jogging? Why can’t he let her cry in peace?

“I think I’m intruding,” said Aryan, coincidentally “It’s better I leave you to yourself”

Sarika saw him get up and suddenly felt as if she did not want to be alone with her thoughts. Or maybe she did not want Aryan to go. She didn’t know why exactly but, “No! Please stay”

Aryan looked at her puzzled but without a word came back to sit beside her.
“I’m a miserable wreck just now!” she said and slowly she told him all what happened in between her sobs. She found it easy to open up to him.

“That has been rough on you,” he said gravely after she finished telling him everything, “That guy was just playing with you”.

“Yes and I did not realize it at all. Few of my friends had warned me of his playboy attitude but I never took them seriously and I also felt that they were jealous. After almost a year I regret for not listening to them!”
She broke into sobs again. “My present condition now is my fault too… I should have at least given a thought to their warnings…”

She felt his comforting hand on her shaking shoulder. “You are not at fault, Sarika,” he said.
She knew he was only saying so to comfort her but she did not tell it aloud.

“You know why?” he said after a while, “Because this is your first love. Everyone tends to believe that their first love is true and flawless since it is the first time they are experiencing something like it. It really makes one angry if a third party tries to caution him/her against the beloved. So don’t blame yourself. That guy should be blamed for dumping you”.

Sarika seemed to have consoled herself as she listened to him. He was right.

“Now look, this guy is history. It is hard to forget him, I know, but try. You have your whole life ahead of you. Don’t let it go just because a cheap fellow like him played you out of his life. He has made his decision. Now you have to make yours!” said Aryan.

Sarika nodded, “I’ll never fall in love again!” she said quietly.
Aryan was silent. He noticed that tears were rolling down her cheeks again.

“Okay. That is your decision?” he asked. Sarika nodded again.

“Good! Now, you need to keep it up, take new positive decisions every time you see that fellow!”

“Its difficult. I don’t think I can…”

“It is difficult but not impossible! Look he has shut you out of his life. You need to do the same to him”.

Sarika looked at him, “Can you help me?”

Aryan smiled, “I sure will, Sarika”.

For that moment, Sarika was captivated by his smile. It seemed so natural, bright and fresh that she could not help smiling back. She realized that she had not really paid much attention to him earlier.

“See, I told you, you look good when you smile,” he said as he got up. He held out his hand, “Come on, get up!” She clasped his outstretched hand and got on to her feet.

“Shall I drive you to work today?” he asked, “Oh, don’t tell me you are bunking office for that cheapo”.

“We will be the talk of the office if we are seen together! Of course, I don’t wanna miss that!” snapped Sarika.

“Atta Girl! Catch you at 8.45 sharp, here at the entrance of the park! Don’t keep me waiting,” saying so he jogged away.

Sarika stood watching him go, feeling somewhat good inside. She did not know why, but she felt that she could trust him. Maybe she wont be a miserable wreck after all.

A week passed and the two of them became close. They sat for lunch and coffee together. They came to office and went back together, sometimes in Aryan’s car and sometimes on Sarika’s bike. They jogged in the park almost every morning. Most important of all, he was a strong support for her during times of emotional upheaval. He was there for her whenever she needed a friend.

“You are my angel, you know,” she told him when they were having ice cream at a little parlour, on their way home.

“Angel?” smirked Aryan, “I cannot grow wings but I think I can attach a halo around my head…”

“Idiot!” laughed Sarika, “You know what I mean!”

Aryan gave an awkward smile, “Yes, I am always at your service…”

“Oh look, you’re blushing as red as a tomato!” teased Sarika.

“Oh no, I’m not!”

“Of course you are! Here, take a look at yourself,” Sarika held up a small mirror.

“I can only see a very handsome hunk in there, not a tomato!”

Sarika rolled her eyes and stuffed her mirror back into her purse. Then for a few minutes, they silently ate their ice creams.

“You know what?” started Aryan suddenly, “I have a little something to tell you”.

“What?”

“But promise me one thing!”

“I promise I wont let the secret out!”

“That’s not the promise. Hear me out. Promise me you wont bloat yourself after I tell you that”.

“Ha! I wont bloat even if I eat tonnes of ice cream!” snapped Sarika.

Aryan grinned. “Okay, you know, I had a little crush on you when I came to this company first…”

Sarika’s hand holding the ice cream spoon stopped in the middle of its course to her mouth. “You what?”

“A little crush on you, madam!” he repeated.

“Seriously?” she asked, trying to act both surprised and amused at the same time. But inside her, this was the beginning of turmoil. Her heartbeat had become faster. Her head and face was starting to grow hot, which usually happened when she was embarrassed or self conscious.

“I’m serious! You can ask my friends at work…oh!” Aryan had spotted her face go red. Sarika wanted to dip her face in the ice cream to cool down.

“No, that’s all right. I trust you, as always!” she said, trying her best to conceal her emotions.

“Hmm” Aryan leaned back, crossed his arms against his chest and looked at her with an amused smile. It was giving her butterflies in her stomach. She wanted to run away from him right that minute. What was wrong with her?

“Eat up soon. The ice cream is melting on your spoon,” he suggested. Sarika frowned and put the spoon back into the ice cream glass.

“Thank God that you don’t have a crush on me now, or I’ll be getting some lame poetry in my mail till now!” she said.
Aryan simply looked at her with the same expression.

“You don’t have a crush on me still, do you?” she asked, wide-eyed with genuine bewilderment.

Aryan did not reply immediately, but she noticed his lip twitch. The next moment, he burst out laughing, “GOTCHA!”

Sarika reached out and smacked his head with her purse. The next minute she got up and went away in a huff, leaving Aryan staring dumbfounded behind her. Hastily keeping money on the table, he ran after her.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he called after her.

She was walking hurriedly but purposely on the footpath away from him, her head in a reel. She heard him calling her but could not turn to face him. Why? Was it hurt, or embarrassment, or something else? Her heart was throbbing full speed. She knew it wont be long before he catches up to her, but that few minutes would give her some time to think up a decent reaction. God, her brain had gone all fuzzy when he had said that…or was it because of the way he was looking at her.

“Sarika?”

He was right behind her now. Ok, lets do this, she thought and turned to face him. It was twilight and there was no street light within 50 meter radius. But she could make out Aryan’s expression- surprise mingled with a bit of shock.

“What happened to you? Did I say something wrong?” he asked, searching her face for answers.

Sarika closed her eyes for a second, to organise her thoughts. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m just so confused, right now!”

“I was joking. I didn’t think you would take it so seriously!” said Aryan.

“Joking?” echoed Sarika, somewhat stunned, “What do you mean?”

Aryan was at a loss of words.

“Forget it, I want to go home!” she declared. She wanted to go home desperately and brood over this. What was the matter with her so suddenly?

Aryan nodded and asked her to wait there till he brought his car over. Soon, after ten minutes, she was home; a little flat near the People’s Park. She lay down on her bed, without bothering to change into home clothes and kept thinking about the situation which caused her to feel this way – confused, flustered and self conscious. What had happened back there? She clearly recalled herself becoming suddenly worked up when he had admitted that he had a crush on her in the beginning. Was it true?

Her heart beat faster as she thought more and more about him. She began to remember him and suddenly hit her fast. His smile, which lit up her mood; his laugh, which brought out the happiness in her; his twinkling eyes filled with concealed mischief but also of unspoken concern and he himself, his easy manner, his nonchalant talk, his way of pulling her leg, his way of carrying himself, his personality all had attracted her unconsciously!

The memories with him kept flooding her mind. On the day he first found her crying in the park, his presence had been strangely reassuring. She had felt at home with him instantly. She had not felt so with Tarun. With Tarun it was something totally different. Tarun was an aggressive man and did not stop to consider the feelings of s anyone. She had fallen for his impulsivity and dangerous charm. But with Aryan it was as though she was back home, as though everything was peaceful and secure. The feeling was unexplainable but she felt it from her heart. She was in love with him.

But there was a huge drawback. Did he feel the same towards her? What if his feelings for her had stopped at infatuation? What if this destroyed their wonderful friendship? At this thought tears sprang into her eyes and she turned to lay on her side. She could not think of losing him. She wanted to be with him forever, even if she could not express her love for him. Thinking of Aryan, she drifted into sleep.

The next morning, Sarika woke up at the constant ringing of her cell phone. It was Aryan. She was tempted to switch off the call as she did not want to talk or see him just then. But she received it.

“Sarika, how are you?”

Sarika took a while to reply as she was composing herself. Now that she had admitted to herself that she was in love with him, his voice was enough to evoke a mixture of feelings.
“I am fine”

“Are you angry with me?”

“No, I am not”.

“Then what is it?”

“What is what?”

“Sarika! You know what I mean!”

He seemed exasperated. She could mentally picture him rake a quick hand through his hair when he was frustrated, as was his habit.
“Please forget about that. Nothing’s wrong now. I’m fine!”
There was no reply from his end.
“Aryan?”

“Do you know how worried you made me?” he said suddenly, “I could not sleep properly yesterday because I did not know what had happened to you!”

Sarika did not know what to say. His words were literally booming in her ears. ‘Could not sleep’, ‘worried’

“Sarika, please don’t do it again. If I said something wrong and it hurt you, please tell me. Don’t storm off like that. I am sorry, Sarika, if I have hurt you.”

His voice had changed to a pleading note. This sent Sarika’s brain into whirls. A small spark of hope was kindled.

“Aryan, believe me when I say you have not hurt me. But can I ask you something?”

“Yes, go ahead”

“Why did you decide to comfort me when I had almost pushed you away when we met first?”

“You had called me back just after you suggested that I leave you alone”

“Yeah, but still, why did you come back to me when I asked you to? You had the free will to go away and mind your business instead of minding a weeping female”.

“I didn’t mind minding a weeping female!”

“Aryan, please! This is not the time for jokes!”

“This is not the time for introspection”

Her impulse was to snap a reprimand but this was not the situation for that. “Your answer will mean a lot to me” was all she said.
He was silent again. Maybe he was thinking.

“I don’t know, Sarika. I could not bear to leave you alone, in the despair. You looked so heartbroken that I didn’t have the heart to leave you in that condition. I so wanted to put a smile on your face…”

Hope sparked in her breast.

“… you know, since then you have become very special to me. I did not realize how much until yesterday night…”

Sarika did not know whether she was wishfully thinking, but she felt like jumping with joy. He was feeling the same towards her.
With anticipation, she waited for his next words.

“That’s my answer. I hope it was helpful”.

Sarika was slightly disappointed at the abrupt ending. But then she mustered up the courage and said,
“I too made a similar discovery last night”.

“You did?” came his question. Sarika could not help smiling at his incredulity.

“Well, I have one last question for you. It will help me restore my inner balance” she said. At his silence, she asked, with a beating heart, “What do you feel towards me now?”

She breathlessly waited for his reply. He seemed to be taking a long time to answer, when she heard a soft knock at her main door. When she was about to curse the visitor,

“Open the door” then he hung up. Puzzled, Sarika got up and went to the door. With hesitation she opened the door and there stood Aryan, with a disheveled look and a suppressed smile on his face. But to her, he seemed like a dream come true.

“Your Angel is at your service!” he said with his arms open. Sarika, unable to hold back her tears of happiness, flew into his arms. He kissed her forehead lovingly.