Brett-Bob's Road Kill Cafe

Brett-Bob's Road Kill Cafe

         In large letters on a sign setting on top of a car parked off the road, but in clear sight of the interstate surrounded by flashing colored lights.

"Brett-Bob's Road Kill Express
Our Motto: You hit it, we grill it!
The Flavor of the day is Pan Fried Skunk."


         John couldn't believe his eyes that he had read this on the flashing sign. The sign still sat just off the highway in some farmer’s field flashing its bright message at him. He shook his head and sped up to get past it. John lived in a small town just outside Pocatello, Idaho. He figured it might be a joke. He had seen a few other things people were doing to promote interest in new ideas or places. Anything to get your hard earned money, he thought as he continued on his way home.

         The week went by slowly for John. Finally, Friday night rolled around. John had decided to take Dena, his wife out for dinner. He didn't bother to tell her where he had in mind. He kept telling her it was a surprise. After driving around the small town for a while, he found the new restaurant named "Brett-Bob's Road Kill Express".

         Dena turned around and said, "Really? Well, you sure surprised me this time. I am not sure I'm interested in dead and flattened food with tire marks on it. Especially, if you ran over it, John. Knowing you, you probably stopped and backed up over it then ran over it again and peeling out all the way."

         John spoke, "Honey, at least give it a chance. Who knows, maybe you will like super tenderized meat. It really would be tenderized to perfection. Or think of what great pancakes they could make. Just think of gopher or rabbit stacks to go."

         Dena just snickered at him and rolled her eyes. She looked around and didn't see many people. That was the deciding factor, she didn't like crowds and the horrible wait time. This was at least worth a try even if her husband was having a little fun at her expense. 

         As he and his wife entered the restaurant. John and Dena were amazed at all the pictures of the cute furry animals they had pasted over the walls. The restaurant owners had gone to great lengths to get the best wildlife pictures. 

         The cutest pictures were nicely framed and hanging in a small serving room. John felt relieved that they hadn't put up gory pictures of dead flattened animals. This thought reminded him of the drive into Pocatello. It was like driving on a fur lined road filled with crushed rabbits, the jack rabbits were getting out of hand. He hoped that the main source of food wasn't flattened jack rabbit.

         A pretty waitress seated the couple at the best table in the house. The waitress politely asked if they wanted the Steak menu or the Road-Kill menu. John with an evil witty look on his face said he would take the Road Kill menu. Dena told the waitress she would take the Steak menu. They both picked up their menu while the waitress brought the Vanilla Cokes made with real Vanilla. This was the first time John had ever found a place that served them.

         John saw that all the selections on the Road-Kill menu were extremely funny both in the description and in the cooking method. After quite a few giggling bouts, his wife nudged him to share the humor. He traded her, his menu. She started giggling then burst out laughing. John had no choice, but to join her as she read out loud some of the more humorous cooking methods. She found the one that told about “Pan Fried Skunk.”

         She read, "To properly prepare a pan fried skunk. You first hold the animal away from your body, and at all times wear a gas mask! You pick up your skunk by the tail. If it is playing possum it sprays the ceiling and your gloved hand, not your face or body. Next, you position its head on your chopping block and cut it off. Now it is totally safe to skin and cut the rib section out. You set the ribs with all the side meat in a bath of fresh made barbeque sauce for an hour then season them lightly and toss on the grill. The rest you get a dull jack hammer and tenderize as needed then sprinkle with salt and fry.”

         John looked over the Steak menu he noticed that rabbit was substituted for several of the original dishes. He noticed a star by each one he looked for the notes and read Rabbit is always in season these other animals are not. It actually made sense, when the waitress came back. John ordered the Pan Fried Skunk knowing he would get the rabbit. His wife surprised him and ordered the rabbit of the day.

         While they were waiting for their meals to arrive. John started playing with the jukebox. His idea was to keep Dana laughing. He would pick selections from the best music to hit critters with. She got into the spirit of it and helped him pick out her favorites. It wasn't long before two hot and steaming platters arrived at their table. The head waiter made a big deal of presenting to them, their food. For John, they handed out a clothes pin to hold his nose, their excuse was for just in case. For Dena, they brought in a small animal cage in case the rabbit decided to try to run away. The head waiter pointed out with road kill one never knows if it is truly dead. They both found the presentation funny and done in good taste.

         John and Dena started eating, they were amazed at the way the food was laid out on the plates. It looked like they were in a five-star restaurant. The rabbit was tasty and gently spiced. The aroma of the vegetables was heavenly. The potatoes were hand made not instant potato flakes. The meat was tender and melted in your mouth. It was the best meal they had eaten in a long time. Dena was giddy from the Vanilla coke or so John blamed it for her actions. She pulled him out of his seat to dance with her to her most favorite tune from the jukebox. They now had a favorite new dining place to go that didn't involve the twenty-mile drive to Pocatello and a two-hour wait to get in and another hour to get served.

On the way home, Dena kept teasing him about how she needed the clothes pin now that he had eaten the skunk. All he could think to tease her back with was drinking too much fermented Vanilla Coke.


Contest prompt
Word count:1,170
There's a new restaurant in town with an interesting theme. What's the theme, how is it expressed, and how's the food?