Madhouse Tragedy

Come join the party with the howls and the screams,
Enter a world out of your very worst dreams.

I welcome you to this freak show, this garish parade
Of the insane and infirm, no need to be afraid

Of any of these crazies, except maybe that guy,
Just don’t look at him funny and you’ll be alright.

Here’s where you’ll be sleeping with some leather restraints,
Over there is Arts and Crafts where you can draw, sculpt or paint.

We have lots of fun activities, so you’ll never be bored,
You can learn macramé—but not knitting—no sharp objects on the ward.

Do try to act civilized, please don’t put up a fight
Or one of the orderlies will have to make you go night-night.

I’ll have to placate you if you try to rebel
Or become a disruption to others with a scream or yell,

Don’t think that I won’t, don’t think that I’m lazy,
Complain all you like—What do I care? You’re crazy!

No need to act morbid, this can be a happening joint,
I try to have fun—otherwise, what’s the point?

So come on, into the madhouse! We’ve got loonies of every kind
Who all have one thing in common: You’re all messed up in the mind.

I have to run a tight ship, can’t have you wandering the halls,
No running, no screaming, and no writing on the walls.

I’m your benevolent MD, here to ensure you behave,
It never gets dull, night after night, listening to you psychos rave.

So make yourself right at home, in this hotel for the strange,
But don’t feel alone, I assure you—here, we’re all quite deranged.