Dead Silent

Jim Dressel could only look down at his plate and grimace. The word food could only be used in the loosest sense of the word in describing what was served at the Herbert Hoover High School cafeteria. To him it looked like someone with loose bowels took a shit on his plate and mixed it up with some pasta. This thought did nothing to help his appetite. He made a mental note to ask his mother to start packing him a lunch. After all, it would be nice to live beyond his high school years.
"What's up douche? I saw you and your boyfriend take turns fucking each other in the ass down by the railroad tracks." The voice belonged to a well built young man wearing a letterman's jacket. He sat down next to Jim, ruffling his hair as he did so. "Where is Hobo Joe anyway? Is he getting his meals down at the homeless shelter?"
Jim remained calm. "To answer your question, "Hobo Joe" as you refer to him will be here shortly. In response to your preceding statement, I pose the following question : How many times did you jerk off?"
The brute in the letterman's jacket didn't find this as funny as he should have. In fact he didn't find it funny at all. The brute, also known as Bryan Underwood, grabbed Jim by the shirt and pulled him forward until there noses were almost touching. "You're a real fucking smartass, you know that?" he asked.
"Indeed I do. Now unless you plan on kissing me I'd really appreciate it if you'd let me go. Your breath smells like someone shit in your mouth."
The brute responded by pushing Jim out of his chair and onto the floor. He then got up, staring down at Jim with a look on his face that was not entirely sane. "Just you wait you little shit. I'll mop the floor with you."
"Wouldn't you rather eat me?