dark again

darkness is crawling up to me
trying to fight it,
defying it,
saying no

but it does not matter,
pretending
saying words that aren't coming
out of my mouth anymore ,

just holding on the thought
"i'm gonna come back definitely
" and start allover from scratch

,.....scratch ! not so encouraging but
i will have to wait it out
,no choice and start raw again,

slap a smile on my face
until i feel it ,.
. felt it then waiting for the next
black to come so i can
live through it again.