I'm Sorry...

You remember the time when I said I had no talents? I’m not good at anything whatsoever? Yeah, well, I think I’ve found something.

Messing things up and not being true.

They say some things are better not being said, and some need to be let out. Well I get those mixed up often and say things I should keep to myself. Sometimes they hurt me and sometimes others. I may say something cold, but I don’t really mean it. Especially not to you. I also keep things to myself a lot. Maybe most of those should be hidden away and never surface, because they’d just make things worse. Some feelings should just be reclused, for lack of better word.

I’ve said many things to you that I probably should not have for a number of reasons. I just want to say: I am so sorry. For any trouble or anything I have ever caused you. I’ve said things, maybe not directly, that have probably made you upset or angry even. Like when I said that I really liked you. That you’re not as ‘unappealing’ as you say you are. In all honesty, you’re actually beautiful. Inside and out. I wouldn’t say that to you though. It’d just go under things that I have said and should have kept my mouth shut instead. Also, every time I say ‘I love you’ in a kidding or joking manner, or any time, I mean it. I meant all of the things stated, and still do to the very second.

Not only have I said true, heartfelt things, but I’ve also said mean things. Things such as “I hate you”, “I don’t like you”, or even the childish one “You suck”. I always say cold things but I actually feel the exact opposite. I guess you could say my cruelness is my way of showing my…affection. I mean, I can’t just say “I love you, I’m in love with you, and I think you’re the most amazing thing.” I’m not THAT stupid. You’d definitely hate and avoid me then. The thought of not talking to you is horrible. It’d feel like something was missing.

You have also said some things to me that have hurt me, but I don’t really blame you. I can be a bother. I try not to be but I fail at times. Sorry for doing things to make you annoyed or irritated.



Well, enough babbling. Moral of the story is: I’m really glad I met you. Missing out on such an amazing person all this time… I envy those close to you. It’d be nice if I were one, but that’s impossible. You obviously would not want that and I wouldn’t torture you in that way. I’ve been burden enough. I would never want to hurt you. Ever. You’re a lovely person and I, pretty much, basically, really, like, love you and stuff.