This Love I Thirst

Oh how I thirst to love,
But torment reigns inside.
Oh how I thirst for you, my love!
Forlorn feelings I must hide.

My apathetic mask is gone.
Repressed emotions to be shone.
Fighting for the perfect life,
With you to call my own.

Oh what joy I feel with you,
Your love so true and bright!
This passion emits such beauty,
and my heart it feels so right.

Yet pain I force myself to bear,
No intentions to be known.
There's sorrow in this lonely soul,
As we can't have a home.

For how such I, be loved by you,
When champions are yours meant to choose?
And claiming truth, I choose to lose,
Wasting life in a lovelorn blues.

will lacking. stuck in a hole of despair,
of drug abuse and fear,
of my pleasures I will lose;
and idleness in the work I must choose.

These emotions I refuse to bear,
For weak am I, and oh so scared,
That all my love for you, though rough,
Isn't going to be good enough.

Will I do right or will I fight?
to all our spiritual deaths?
Will I fall sinking and thinking,
I will never be good enough?

Am I strong enough to change my unhappiness?
Or will remain in ignorance and kill you slowly,
With all my fear and sadness,
or Rage and Madness?

Truth lie in my eyes I see,
A truth that I deny to be,
All I want in me,
Loving you Oh So Unconditionally.

This peace in me means peace to share
A curse that I'm alone of great despair,
But it is the way I am with love that hurts the most,
The way I wish to merge my soul.

True love will not come until I am true to myself,
and How I wish to be so many things
But most of all I wish to be your lover.
As well as a Husband and a Father

I'm to blame and it's just me,
suffering as I wish to be,
The man I know I can be ,
But without you, it's hard to breathe.

Why do I choose to die,
when love is not in my eye,
and all the pie, seems not worth the fight,
Because I'm to lazy and weak, to be my soulmate's soulmate?

I fear true love I will never find
and if I do, things won't turn right,
and all I do is wait in pain,
That someone can make me whole again.