The hanging

I stood there looking in the mirror, staring intently at myself. I couldn’t keep my stare away from it. I forced myself to look away. I looked down at my dresser and stared at the note I had just read. I closed my eyes and tried to picture myself somewhere. I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. I couldn’t believe that he gave me this as a gift. I got up and slowly walked to the door. What’s the point, she thought. He’s already gone from my life. I walked towards my closet pulling out my scarf. I looked up at the ceiling. “It’s high enough,” I said. “It will do.” I stood on my bed and tried to tie the scarf to the ceiling fan. Frustrated, I got a chair and tried to balance it on the bed. “This just won’t work! God! Where the hell am I going to do this now?” I stormed out of the room and headed straight for the garage. I stood up on a stool and tied it to the light. I made a knot and put it over my neck. I took a deep breath and tried to make the stool to tip over. Before I could think twice about it, my feet slipped and then there was no sound.

***
It’s been years since she left. I stand here today and look at the last note I ever gave her. I remember telling her I loved her that I wanted to be with her, I wanted to marry her. I thought we were okay. I guess not. I stand here today and look at her tomb; I hold the note in my hand and set it on the top of her tomb. It’s time to let go. Good-bye, my love.