Mount Olympus High

Mount Olympus High

The earth shook, the ground rumbled, the skies shown magnificent colors of lightening bolts, and all was well with the gods. Standing at the front of the class was a skinny, scrawny youth of a boy with long scraggly hair.

"My name is God," he said, "And I have just moved here from Heaven."

"What brought you to Olympus? And what tricks can you do God?" asked Satan at the back of the class.

"Well, I moved here because my mother Gaia would like me to be in a better environment with people of my own stature. As for tricks, the only trick I am good at is making people believe what I say."

The entire class welcomed him. He took his seat by a beautiful girl with long blonde hair, full, luscious breasts, the bluest of eyes and an intoxicating scent on the senses. She was Aphrodite, beautiful to all. She gave God a wink as he sat down and he could feel the redness swelling in his cheeks. Satan on the other hand, hiding his doubt, snickered to himself at what an ass God was. Just then, the door to the classroom slammed open and in walked a dark girl, bedecked with jewelry from head to toe, long black hair, big teeth and blood red lipstick. God noticed this girl had huge hands with sharp razor nails. She cast a look at God which sent shivers down his spine.

"Who is that?" God asked Aphrodite.

"That, God, is Kali." Aphrodite said without looking up.

Kali put her bag down and pulled out a sword and sat it on her desk.

"So, Professor Thoth, who is our new student today?" she asked the teacher sarcastically with a wry smile and tilt to her head, as she ran her fingernails against the blade of the sword.

"Kali, this is God. He just moved here from Heaven and we would like to welcome him if that is okay with you? And will you please remove your sword from the desktop? I really hate how the desks are getting chipped up because you guys think it is absolutely necessary to place your toys on it." Thoth eyed Kali waiting for a response.

Thoth wore a crescent moon upon his head and taught the fine art of mathematics and writing. He was a tall man and often people said he looked like a baboon. Although he would never admit to it, he was known for decapitating people who went against his authority. Kali's eyes switched from Thoth's to God's and under her breath she muttered, "Yes, God, welcome to Olympus."

As she slid her sword off the desk and propped it up against the side of it. Aphrodite leaned towards God giving him a word of advice.

"Kali had children two years ago and she ate them all. She said they were a bunch of little brats and tasted better anyways. And if you haven't noticed, she has ten arms, which usually means she is pissed off. So a word of advice, stay as far away from her as possible. She is only trouble."

God shuttered to think how cruel it would be to eat your own children. He noticed that Kali had a desk bigger than all the other students which she kept at a distance from all the rest. He wondered how she ever made up her mind of which arm to write with. He quietly thought that if she used all ten arms to write with at the same time, they could all answer a different test question and she could finish sooner than everyone else. He thought, what a cheater, to have that many arms.

Satan began waving his hand wildly in the air. "Uuuum excuse me Professor Thoth?"

"Yes Satan?" Thoth kept an eye on him, for he knew he was sly and a bit of an instigator.

"I would like to mention to God, that I too, am good at getting people to believe me." As if he had just finished an important speech and was congratulated for a job well done, he slicked back his black hair from his red face, taking special heed of the hairs around his horns. He was always dressed nicely and had a fine body, a real heartbreaker a lot of the girls would say.
Aphrodite got up from her chair and walked over to Satan's desk and leaned over just enough to show some cleavage. Her breasts were heaving with every breath and Satan couldn't help but notice them.

"Why don't you come up to my place later on and we can study?" She leaned a little further until he had a full view. If Satan ever blushed you could never tell.

"Sorry Aphrodite babe, but I have other things to do. Why don't you go ask God over there, he looks like he might need to get laid." With that him and Kali and a few others let out a laugh.

"That is enough!" Thoth boomed. "Satan, you shall go to see Zeus right now." Satan slowly got up from his desk and headed for the door, not looking back.

"Kali, if I hear another word, a snicker, or if you even look the wrong way or move an eyebrow out of place, you will be next." He fumed at her and if you looked just right, you could see his crescent glowing hot with steam.

"As for the rest of you, I will not tolerate this kind of behavior in my classroom. You are here to learn and if you refuse to obey the laws at Mount Olympus, the consequences are drastic." he said in a demanding tone. He observed the class, how they were all so very different, yet the same.

"You are all dismissed. I will see you on day three."

    Mount Olympus had class on day two, three, seven and nine. There were nine days in a week on Olympus and a day lasted 47 hours. Twenty-three hours for daylight, twenty-three hours for night time, 30 minutes for Re to push the sun up into the air and 30 minutes for Ratri to pull up the moon. It was the usual gossip around school that Re and Ratri were lovers. But the teachers assured everyone that even though Re was burning with love, Ratri was as cold as ice. As the students filed out of class, God took notice of how beautiful things were. Trees grew especially tall here and the grass was the greenest ever. Color is something he was not used to, as Heaven was just plain white. Just then he heard a ruckus and looked to see a few people pointing and laughing at Satan. Satan had a big burn mark on his rear-end and was rubbing it as he walked through the campus. Aphrodite made her presence noticeable to God by taking hold of his arm and walking alongside him.

"He got a bolt up his ass by Zeus." She said nodding her head in Satan's direction.

"That is what happens when you go see Zeus?" God asked with a bit of fear in his voice.

"Well, God, the answer to that is simple. Yes. When you piss off a teacher here at Mount Olympus, you are sent to see Zeus. Nine times out of ten the kids who are sent to him never return to him, but in Satan's case, he never learns. He seems to have a knack for anything dealing with fire, like it doesn't bother him or something."

"I hope I never have to meet him." God claimed in a hushed voice.

"So where is he going to now?" asked God

"Who? Satan?"

"Yes." He replied.

"Everyday after class he heads to the river and there he has contests with a few others."

"What kind of contest Aphrodite?" God asked.

"Ants." She answered.

"Ants? That is the contest?" God looked baffled.

"Might you show me where this contest is? I would like to see what it's all about." he asked.

Aphrodite glanced at him tightening her grip on his arm. He admired the way her hair blew freely in the wind and he couldn't help but notice how her breasts bounced about happily, well formed and clothed nicely.

"Can I ask you a question God?

"Sure."

"Are you a virgin?" she blurted out.

His face turned the color of an apple and he could light up an entire sky red. He put his head down.

"If you don't want to ans…" she said but was cut off by God.

"As an honest person, yes I am a virgin." He said.

She stopped, and faced him, eyes bluer than a clear blue sky, and stared deep into him.

"Will you let me show you?" She asked.

"Show me what?"

"The beauty of sex." She said.

He thought hard for a minute and replied, "No, Aphrodite, as beautiful as you are, I cannot."

She lightly kissed him on the cheek and took hold of his arm and began walking again. They were nearing the edge of campus and all along the paths were different shops. The first one they passed had a short stout man with one leg shorter than the other. This, God thought to himself, was the ugliest man he had ever seen. Approaching the edge of the shop, he could see inside that this man was making weapons of all sorts.

"That is Vulcanus. He makes arrows and swords and blades of all kinds." She said.

"Would you like to go inside and see?"

He was a little uncomfortable but said, "Yes" and they ventured in.

Vulcanus gave one look at God and said, "New student at Mount Olympus eh?" God was a little edgy by this man's very presence and the weapons that were fashioning every wall, but quickly answered him.

"Yes sir, my name is God and I come from Hea…"

"Heaven. I know. I know who you are." He interrupted God. "I hope you don't think by moving here to Olympus you can try and make everyone believe the things you say, because we have weapons lad, and we aren't afraid to use them on that scrawny mouth of yours."

At this, God tugged on Aphrodite's arm and urged her to go. As they were leaving Vulcanus's shop, God took notice of the weapon hanging on the west wall, the blade the shape of a dolphin. He thought, such talent, to construct something this magnificent.

Outside the doorway in a frenzy of emotional distress and crying a river of tears, a beautiful girl ran by in the most radiant silken garments. She had a lotus flower in her hand and seemed to be clutching it tightly as if death would strike her if she let go.

"Who is that girl?" he asked Aphrodite.

"Radha, Radha, Radha. That is who she is, such a drama queen. Emotional to the core and always crying." Aphrodite sighed.

"What does she get from crying though?"

"To let you in on what everyone else in this school knows, Radha is in love with Krsna, and they have sex quite frequently, but Krsna always goes back to Rukmini, which leaves Radha in distress like this. Such a pity that girl cannot find someone better. I mean she is beautiful and her garments are well becoming, but she needs to set her eyes on someone else. He is clearly not interested."

"I agree." God said. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor girl. He wished there was something he could do, but there wasn't. He looked over towards Aphrodite who was glowing exquisitely in Re's light. He wanted to feel her, but could not give himself to the idea. She looked intriguing and he longed to be touched by her. She began tugging at him to walk a little faster and he snapped out of his thoughts to see a group of people dancing around a man playing pipes.

"Oh Aphrodite, how fair and beautiful you are everyday." The man with the pipes exclaimed as they walked closer.

"Will today be the day my dear?" He asked, now standing next to her.

"Will I have those breasts as mine, my body in you, my tongue exploring every curve?" He whispered into her ear from behind her as his hands found the curve of her hips.

"Not today Pan, I've told you several times I am not interested. You just keep playing those pipes."

"Ahhh, but Aphrodite, you are sweet to taste and I long to caress every bit of you."

"Yes, Pan. I am well aware of that. Maybe someday I might change my mind. But not today."

He let his hands slide down the sides of her hips and quickly trotted back on his hoofs over to his stump and took up his pipes and began playing again. The people were all so happy, some dancing, some making love, God did not notice that half of them were naked.

"Here son, drink this." An old, tall man with white cloths draped over him and a long white beard handed God a small blue vial with a brass topper.

"What is it?" God asked. "And who are you?"

"I am a physician son, my name is Asklepios. I cure the sick, and heal the wounded. Take this and drink and you shall be cured of any sickness that might be lingering with you."

"I am never sick sir and have no use for this. I am sorry, but please accept my apologies." God replied as he handed the vial back to the old man. The old man looked oddly at him.

"Strange. You say a sickness has never befallen you?"

"Yes, I have never been sick."

"Let's see if we can fix that!" A loud mouthed, arrogant boy came walking by and threw a snake upon God. Upon touching him, it turned into a stick but as it fell to the ground it changed back into a snake. The boy gasped and fell backwards. God looked at him keenly.

"Now, boy, will you drink the vial?" asked Asklepios.

"What for old man? I haven't a mark on me, nor one bad cell, no cough, no fever and I am not insane." Said God somewhat irritated that he would not stop asking.

"You do now." Said the boy lying on the ground heavily breathing and pointing at the bite marks upon God's arm.

Aphrodite kicked dirt into the boy's face. "Ares, I should say, I will have a word with Zeus about this. You are not even old enough to be in these parts of Olympus, I am sure he will be disappointed with you."

"Yeah wait till he puts a bolt up your ass boy!" yelled God.

"Hush, God." Aphrodite soothed his arm.

"He is one of Zeus's children. He will be punished worse than the students."

"Yes, sister, and wait till I tell father how you are whoring around with the new student. He might decide to take God in for a few bolts himself don't you think?" said the boy.

"What? You are a daughter of Zeus!?" God stood upright and stared Aphrodite in the eyes finally becoming aware of the pain in his arm. He looked at it in shock.

"Where are you from God?" asked Asklepios.

"I moved here from Heaven with my mother Gaia."

"Well son, what you were capable of doing in Heaven, you cannot do here. I am sorry if you find this disturbing. Please drink the vial and cure yourself." Handing the vial back to God, he quickly took it, popped off the brass topper, and drank the entire vial in one gulp. Not sure of if he did the right thing, he studied his arm to find that it healed almost immediately, with no trace of a bite
mark.

"Ares go home!" Aphrodite screamed.

"You hopeless wench, I'm telling dad!" he screamed back.

She took hold of God's arm and told him, "We had better go if you want to see the contest."

They continued walking down the path until they came to a river. Huge Willow trees hung along the sides of the river and their tips touched the waters surface. Once in a while a tiny ripple would shake the water from a leaf landing on it. Aphrodite pointed to a
naked woman in the middle of the river.

"That is Abnoba. She owns the forest and the river." God noticed the woman in the river was truly beautiful, with long black hair, pale skin, and a perfect body, but she was withdrawn. She bathed in the river in front of everyone as if no one but her existed.

"A few boys like my brother Ares, are a bit perverted at times and will hide up in the trees to watch her bathe. She never takes notice of them." She said as she noticed God staring at the woman.

"Who is that now?" God asked as he saw another woman enter the river. Aphrodite turned to see a woman wading through the river towards Abnoba. The woman was slim, with long blonde locks, perfect skin, and an absolute enchantment about her which made the jealousy in Aphrodite arise. God kept watching the two women. Before he knew it, the blonde woman was behind Abnoba, kissing the back of her neck, a breast in each hand. God had never seen this before and he looked away to Aphrodite. She was angry he could tell. He took her hand in his.

"You are beautiful Aphrodite. Do not get upset that these women take part in such an action." She looked at him and began to cry. God put his arms around her and drew her near and gently put his lips to hers. In that split second the whole world had been lifted and he felt as light as the air around him. He was not in Heaven anymore.

The ground shook and a great thunder clapped against the sky. A roaring chariot led by two goats came to a halt in front of God and Aphrodite. Both standing confused, a very large man with a red beard stepped from the chariot. He had on a massive girdle and iron gloves and in his right hand, a short-handled hammer.

"Venus!" he bellowed. The blonde haired woman in the river quickly broke away from Abnoba. He struck his hammer on the ground so violently that one of the aged willow trees fell over right in the direction of Venus running. She screamed.

"Venus!" He screamed again, this time louder. She came running to him, naked, the whole time looking back to see if Abnoba was okay. She could see that she was still in the river bathing and this eased her tension. She stood before Thor, dripping wet. He immediately picked her up over his shoulder and got into his chariot and summoned for his goats to go. The goats, as if being scolded, took off in a flash, like the sound of a tornado whirling by, the ground rumbled beneath God and Aphrodite's feet and they were gone.

"So that was Venus. She was pretty." Aphrodite said.

"Not as pretty as you."

She took his hand and they kept walking.

"Oh isn't this cute. A little wench, with a new boy." It was Kali, her ten arms moving about ferociously.

"Can't you find something better to amuse yourself with today Kali then looking at naked women in a river?" Exclaimed Aphrodite.

"And can't you amuse yourself with something besides this twig of a man Aphrodite?" Kali shot back. "I think your father might be a tad upset to see you with such a thing, don't you think?"

"I think you should be on your way Kali." A woman stepped out from behind a bush. She was snakelike and fully armed.

"Athena!" Aphrodite ran over to her sister and hugged her. "Does father know you are here?"

"I don't think so. But I won't be here long. I am still a bit pissed off at Ares. I hear he is being a bit of an asshole?"

"Yes, Athena. Just today he threw a snake at God and his arm was bitten as a result."

"That rat bastard. I will have Hermes send a message to father from the battleground with the Gorgon monster. I will make sure father knows of his ways."

"Very well sister, I am about to take God down to the banks to watch the Ant contest. I will see you soon." Aphrodite embraced her sister one last time and then turned to God.

"The Ant contest lies ahead."

It was the strangest thing God had ever seen. A few very old men were sitting at their proper banks watching cities of ants. Passerby's were allowed to view but could not give them any suggestions.

The first man had slanted eyes and a fat, round belly.

"My name is Buddha. My ants contain themselves very well and follow my word with heart." Looking down into the great city, there were armies of ants lined up ready for battle. Women and children were sectioned off in a different part of the city.

The second man wore an orange turban on his head and was tall, slender and wore silk pants with a dress over the top.

"My name is Allah, and my ants believe in nothing more but me. Witness them now if you will, taking up their swords to fight for my existence." Viewing his city were ants wielding swords fighting among themselves. The women were veiled and the children were kept locked away.

The third man had several arms and wore lots of makeup and was covered with jewelry and fine silk clothes.

He said, "My name is Krsna, and I have a great city of ants." Mostly men with shaved heads wearing robes were in Krsna's city, among a few women and children who were to be seen and never heard.

The fourth man was aged with a beard that went almost to his knees, the purest white. Sad sunken eyes, wrinkles and indentured lines upon his face, he said, "I am YWHW, and I have a city of pure intellectuals, truly honest believers." The ants in this city were preachers of the faith.

God had noticed the last person sitting there. He was younger than the rest and noticed God as him and Aphrodite walked by.

"So it is you. You just could not resist that curiosity of yours. You were wondering what I was doing after Zeus, shot me in the ass with the bolt. And of course your little wench told you I was here."

"Yes, Satan, I have come to see what this is all about and not just to see you."

"Well, my good friend, I will show you. You see here my city of ants? They believe in themselves. There is no one higher than them. They don't fight among themselves because to each of them they are equal. My numbers are growing everyday. Men, women, and children are treated the same. YHWH has grown sad, Allah has grown frustrated, Buddha has grown weak and Krsna is disappointed. I, on the other hand, could not be any happier. They choose to live for themselves, not me."

"And so you think this is the wise thing to do?" God asked.

"Why wouldn't it be? They can live freely among themselves. They are not under any authority." Satan was getting agitated that God was voicing his opinion on his city.

"I think you should let all the cities loose and let them run rampant across the lands. See what shall happen." God was looking to each of the men proposing his idea to them.

Buddha let out a sigh of relief. "I do not think it will hurt to see how our people will react to each other. Come everyone, open the gates to your cities."

With hesitant gestures Allah, YHWH and Krsna did as Buddha said and opened the gates. Satan sat there baffled that they had done such a thing.

"Are you mad? Do you know what will happen?"

"Surely Satan, you will let your ants out to mingle with ours will you not?"

"I most certainly will not. My people have freedom. If they are let out their freedom will be taken from them."

"How so Satan?" asked Allah.

"Watch and see." Satan replied.

Before he knew it the ants of all the cities were fighting each other. As they kept fighting, they grew bigger and bigger until they were as big as Allah, YHWH, Buddha and Krsna. Satan stepped back alongside God and Aphrodite and watched as the human sized ants shed the blood of their creators upon the lands of Olympus. Once their creator's were defeated, they disappeared in thin air.

"God, do you now see what I mean? I keep them happy and I stay alive." Satan slicked back his black hair on his red head.

"You know God, you are pretty sly. I never thought you were that good to persuade them to open the gates and let them all out."

"Well, I plan on taking up this ant contest in the coming years, and I think you will be quite an opponent Satan."

With that, God took Aphrodite's hand and took up her offer to study that night.