sweet tears

once i was beautiful, but then i threw everything away. my fortunes, my beauty, and respectful men i once had a life that i was happy. now i will look in the mirror and dicovering the monster that i have been turned into.
"i once was beautiful" i said to myself, i have grown use to my own company. i smile. "today is the day! now dont be nervous... you might not get the results you would like, but i am sure i am not a monster." i take a deep breath, filling my lungs with the fresh smell of lavender.
i take one step, two step... three... i put my dirty blonde hair behind my ears and look up. i jump, goosebumps grow on every inch of my body.
i blink fast and go back onto my tippy toes, where i see my reflection again. now used to my looks, not as bad as i was getting ready for. its only scars and patches of raw skin that replace my ivory flesh,on my face and body. my eye still black, purple, blue, and green. the wounds reminding me of the evil human, his face welded into my mind, unwilling to find a escape
...my soon to be husband...
death is the only thing that could seperate us, as fear is filled inside me and i could never do it myself. i could never escape alvie from the devil,and if i do escape alive i know he will find me again. maybe do worse then he has already done.
picking up the knife quick and quiet, pointing it before myself and pushing it closer to my body. until the tip of the knife cuts into my flesh and then i count to three and ram it into my heart. now i will be in peace, safe.
"whitney!" i violent scream...
i look behind me and see his face, mathew... even death do we not part...